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Wow! Researchers Find That MS Has Negative Impact on Career Prospects!

Posted Oct 13 2009 10:04pm
Harvard University

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This just in: a groundbreaking research study has found that "multiple sclerosis (MS) delivers a massive blow to your job prospects as well as your health".

Well, you could knock me over with a feather. Really, you could, and that has nothing to do with this research finding. It's one of the reasons why I had to stop working 2 1/2 years ago.

Anyway, back to the study. After doing exhaustive research, Australian researchers have discovered that MS sufferers are more likely to leave work as a result of their disease than people suffering from other chronic illnesses.

Not to minimize the severity of other chronic illnesses, but is this really a surprise to anyone? Unless an MS patient is gainfully employed as a paperweight, there's a good chance the disease will eventually have a detrimental effect on their job performance. Between fatigue, cognitive difficulties, and mobility issues, MS isn't exactly the equivalent of an MBA from Harvard as far as career advancement goes...

Is this the kind of thing that MS research money should really be spent on? What's next, a study showing that "MS Patients Are Much More Likely to Visit a Neurologist"? Or how about "Wheelchair Bound MS Patients Spend Much of the Day Sitting".

Let me save the research world some hard work and money. I've done some non-MS related research of my own, and these are my findings:

  • Flying over the handlebars of a fast-moving bicycle has a positive impact on the necessity of stitches.
  • Mixing copious amounts of vodka, beer, and bourbon has a negative impact on the ability to not vomit.
  • Telling the state trooper who pulled you over for speeding that the reason you were going so fast is "because I was pressing really hard on the gas pedal" has a negative influence on the mood of the state trooper.
  • The amount of time spent dating pathological liars is directly proportional to the level of your desire to stick your head in a toilet.

Oh, and one piece of research that is MS related:

  • Having MS sucks.

Where do I sign up for some research funding?...

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