I have been thinking lately about what it means to be a family and how ties bind us together.
About what things leave the most lasting impression upon our souls.
There are legacies and inheritances, which are not the same things at all.
To leave an inheritance means one has left behind some thing of monetary value or worth for people that they love to have (or fight over) once they have die, a piece of property or something to treasure. But a legacy is something that one leavesinpeople, that intangible sparkly star stuff for which there is no price.
The love and value. The self worth we are trying to teach these priceless boys, who really and truly think they are worthless. The unconditional love we are offering them because we want to give. We were entirely unprepared to be loved backed. They started calling us Mom & Dad right away. (Freaked us out. Called the social worker and asked what to do about it. She laughed at us.)
The older boy knows what it means to have a foster family; he says it is a temporary family to love you until your real family gets better.
We told him he's right. He asked us if we'd love him for always.
We said of course.
We meant it.
We have not told him that he is our real family. That our foster children will be our real kids until we find the ones we adopt...That is just too much for anyone to think about. Don't you agree?