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snif, snif, coff,coff...

Posted May 02 2005 12:00am

Okay, how bad does this suck?? Kevin's on vacation this week from Verizon, and I'M F**ng SICK!! This is the second vacation he's taken this year, he only has one week left! And that's not til October or something! Oh well, we weren't even thinking about going anywhere (no $$, which sucks, but what's new?). I am going to take a 'vacation' from getting my weekly avonex shot (for ms) this week. I've been getting them faithfully, every week for the past 10 YEARS!! And what I'd love to know...are they even helping?? Avonex is an interferon shot that's supposed to slow down the progression of this disease...but....how do I KNOW? Yeah, I'm still able to walk (with my cool purple rollater walker with handbrakes!...well, as cool as a walker can be, anyway....). But...maybe I'd be able to walk anyway, but the hell of it is, I'd be scared to death to try to go off of it, cuz what if I ended up in a wheelchair 6 months from now, permanently? Huh? Huh?? That would be TOTALLY my fault!
So, anyway, I'll have all kinds of stuff to bitch about next week, when life gets back to normal.
In the meantime...I watched (well, rewatched) part of 'Men In Black' today, and I had forgotten how damn funny that was!! Kevin's brother gave me a $10.00 gift certificate (like, just a trial, to see if I like it) to cinemanow.com for Christmas, and I haven't used it except for 'Amityville: The Beginning'...which was kind of a 'yawner'. Of course, I've already read every one of the books about it, and I'm DEFINITELY one of the type of people that says the books are always better than the movie. Kevin & his brother seem like they've made it their business to make sure I have anything I want, available on this computer. It's a new Dell Kev got me for my 40th birthday a week before Christmas, a 19-inch flat screen monitor, Kev's brother also gave me a video card for Christmas, so I can watch tv while I'm on the computer, Kevin ripped all of the cd's we and all the family have on our spare hard drives, so I don't even have to try to mess with the actual cd's, cuz my hands are so frickin' clumsy! So we have about 7,000 songs on this computer I can listen to, just by pulling up Windows media player, and clicking the mouse on the song I wanna hear! I love it, and them, but....you know...I'd trade it all in the blink of an eye, just to get my balance, and strength, and eyesight, and...oh, everything back!! Well, I wouldn't give Kev or Tiff away, but everything else....well, I'd live in a damn dumpster, and be satisfied, if I knew my ms would go away! No, I've honestly gotten over the bitterness & depression about this 'situation', that took at least the first two years...but I still have the question, "Why ME??" But, then I ask myself "Why not me? What would make me so special that I shouldn't ?", and get myself back with both feet on the ground...(but sometimes it's funner to live in the ozone! When will they legalize medical marijuana in THIS half of the country?). No, I'm lucky, I have no physical pain with this disease (thank you, God!), but...at least it would make having it more bearable! I love instant messaging with my friend in Spain, who also has ms, but she always tells me she's getting ready to have a smoke (pot), brb while she gets it! She said all her friends want to borrow her medical permission thingy, but she guards it with her life!
Okay, enough for tonight....beddy-bye time...
BoUnCeS!! LibbY!

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