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Put on a Happy Face

Posted Jan 06 2009 6:10pm

For many of us who suffer from Multiple Sclerosis depression is a very real problem with its own unique set of challenges to face.

Yes, I suffered from depression long before the official diagnoses of MS, but the dark swirling hole seems to have grown by leaps and bounds over the last few years. It makes me wonder what exactly the relationship between the two is…

Does the depression deepen because you are caught up in a life long illness with no way to predict what your future health will be like or even if you will be able to walk when you wake up in the morning, or is it in relation to the damage being done inside your brain from the MS disease process?

I am sure it is a combination of the two factors, but if the greater cause was from the disease process can a medication be specifically targeted to treat THAT depression? I have done the medication go around for a long time now, and at one point I was having great success with Zoloft, but since my diagnoses it seems as if there are no medication combinations have been successful in lifting the cloud of doom. Sure, I get days of sunshine, but for the most part the ever-swirling black hole is lurking around….

Here is something I find to be a self-truth. Can you relate?  

 

Put on a happy face....
The world doesn't need to know every single one of my mental neuroses. Many people who are depressed hide behind their very own painted on face. Nobody wants the world to know that deep inside they are secretly crazy.

We realize what we are doing to ourselves, but cannot control it. There are times when a depressed person will lash out or cry uncontrollably. We can hear ourselves in our very own mind saying, "Stop this. This is ridiculous." But we can't listen to that voice for some reason. So the rant continues.

Getting out of bed is a chore and can drain our energy for the rest of the day. We may not be tired as we lay in bed staring at the ceiling or willing ourselves to fall asleep once again. The bed is a comfort zone. The bed is protection from everything in the outside world. Simply prying our bodies from the bed can take all of our reserve energy and set us up for a day where all we can think about is going back to bed. The bed is like a pacifier for someone who is depressed.

There may be absolutely no reason for our depression on any given day. This is the hardest thing for other people to understand. They cannot fathom why...

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