The last several weeks have been grueling and often painful. I have tried to plaster that smile on and keep truckin' along, but it is too much now. I have spent days where the tears just won't stop, but I don't know why I'm crying. I spent a full five days of contant crying! And other days are completely opposite-I laugh until I cry, but I don't know why I'm laughing.
I'm not so sure that I am being listened to at the neurologist office. I explain what is going on, but it seems as if no one is listening. Case in point *TMI Warning*, but perhaps this will help someone. I started having bowel problems last April. Loss of control of bowel movement problems. Embarrassing and humiliating, especially in public. Those who have been through this can only know what I mean. I mentioned it several times to my MS neuro office, and each time was told it was "progression of the diease". In November, it was so bad that the oopsies were happening a few times per week. Again, I mentioned it, but to no avail. At the end of November I went to my primary care physician, and I casually mentioned it just so he would know for his records. He sent me right over for an abdominal x-ray to check for colon blockage. Apparently, blockage of the colon would seem to act like constipation, but actually sometimes it acts like diarrhea and pushes by the blockage so quickly and hard that then there is an accident. The next day he called me to confirm that yes, there was blockage, and recommended I take an over the counter medication for constipation for 7 days, and to call if the problem was not resolved. Guess what? Not an accident since. I went for several months with this problem because I was not listened to. And it took a primary care, rather than a specialist, to hear what I was saying.
I've decided that tomorrow I call the MS center and get an appointment scheduled asap. I have pain that seems to be coming from within my bones on my rear end, then the pain shoots down my legs, mainly the left leg. So much pain that I end up taking Vicodin to take the edge off. At night, the pain gets worse. The fatigue is out of control now. I woke up this morning at 11am, and that was only because Brian finally came up to get me up. I would probably still be sound asleep. I was awake for about 3 hours (and cried again for no reason), then took a nap for about two hours. And now I am totally ready to go crawl into bed. When Brian gives me hugs, sometimes it hurts, even if he doesn't squeeze hard. Why would a hug hurt? I have almost constant headaches now, for about the last two or three weeks. The only good thing I can say about that is that I haven't had a full-blown migraine *knocking on wood*. My vision blurs on and off in my right eye. But if I say anything to my doc, she says "wait and see". She finally gave me Prednisone after telling her the wait and see didn't work, but she gave me a taper dose that lasted about three weeks. 60mg per day down to 10mg per day. I have been off of that for a few weeks and I honestly feel worse and hurt more than I did before.
Yup, I'm bitching. Yes, I'm angry. I just want answers. Should I request an MRI? I last had the brain MRI Jan 2009, and before that the brain MRI was Aug 2008. Cervical MRI was Aug 2008. MRI in January 2009 showed several new and active lesions. It seems they would have wanted to follow up on that to see that things have slowed down? Several new and active lesions within 5 months? And why not check to see if there are new cervical lesions? Not sure...so many questions.......