Multiple Sclerosis and Quitting Smoking - Why is it so hard to do?
Posted Aug 19 2009 6:25pm
This is going to be short and sweet....
I know that seems impossible coming from me but here goes.
I am still in the Phase 1 of Tara's Quit Smoking Program. Phase 1 is thinking about quitting.
I have been on a roll and then last night happened.... I couldn't fall asleep. I was up til 3:40 this morning so of course I went way over my limit I set for myself which is 10-14 a day.
Every time I would light up a new one I would get mad at myself but continue to smoke it anyways. I even found myself bargaining with myself. You all know what I mean... OK Tara you can smoke another one but when you fall asleep and wake up you can only smoke 10 and under today.
I fell asleep at 3:40 and had to wake up at 7:00 this morning for my son's soccer game (They tied). Anyways on with my story... It is now noon and I think I have smoked 6 this morning and will never make it all day. So I am trying to bargain again.
However, a thought crossed my mind and here it is. Tara you already have been diagnosed with MS and have had thirty something years of bad luck... So maybe my luck is better and smoking really isn't going to cause more problems then I have already had in the past and live with daily???
I know some of you will be mad at my way of thinking and I know it is not the right way to think....But the thought did cross my mind.
Anyways! my point of this is that I know I am going to screw up again today and I don't understand why it has to be so hard to quit. I think I am a strong person in so many ways but I am so weak when it comes to quitting smoking.
That's all for now and I am sure this is going to cause a stir but thought I would pass along my thoughts for the day before I lay down and go to sleep.