Common Personality Traits of Multiple Sclerosis Sufferers
Well, everyone has a profile, right? The extrovert, the introvert, the type A personality, the serial killer. What are we, as people with multiple sclerosis, like? Is there a common bond, a set of characteristic proclivity that can be said to be typical of the person with MS?
Here are my findings, for what they are worth, after exhaustive hours of study (at least two or three—you know how it goes with MS and fatigue).
1. The MS sufferer tends to be a person of above average intelligence (or conversely a stupid person who is nonetheless able to fake his way to more lofty heights). The average person with MS, moreover, uses his intelligence in creative ways, having a general thirst for the unusual, the genuine, for he suffers from an unusual, very singular sort of illness (how many people, after all, can genuinely get lost in a supermarket parking lot).
2. He/She is a natural born skeptic, who either does not really believe in the medications he takes but takes them anyway, or does not take them at all, believing that he probably should.
3. The MS sufferer, considered together as a collective body, is perfectly bipolar. That is to say that the corporate body of MS may be seen as a sphere containing two magnetic poles. The sufferers rush to either one pole or the other, like tadpoles to the remaining trickles of water in a pond that has otherwise dried up. This bipolarity will be seen again and again in the individual aspects of the MS personality type. 4. As an example of #3 above, the MS sufferer is either a stoic or a whiner. Members of the former subcategory speak seldom of their disease in social or family gatherings (speaking only, in fact, if directly questioned, and even then being rather evasive). The person in the latter category, on the other hand, brings his disease to any and all forms of gathering, and insists that his misfortune be swiftly acknowledged, preferably preceding “hello.”
5. The MS sufferer has either too much of a sense of humor (rendering him irritating) or no sense of humor at all (which also makes him irritating). He is either an idiot or a curmudgeon. He is either habitually inappropriate or as square as a block of wood.
6. Most people with MS (perhaps 90 percent) can smell bullshit a mile from a mile away. The other 10 percent are hopelessly callow, and given to championing popular trends and causes, like political correctness or OSPIRG.
7. Most people with MS are fond of animals, especially dogs, and bright colors, especially red. A bright red dog would prove the perfect pet. They like the sun, they abhor the rain, though both weather conditions cause them to suffer in one way or another (exacerbation of symptoms in the heat, depression in the rain).
8. People with MS either grow or wither. They either embrace the disease or live in denial. They either become better people because of MS, or they gripe their way through the years until somebody shoots them. Or they shoot themselves. People tend to see MS either as a punishment or a blessing, when in fact it is neither. This is simply bipolarity at work once again. In Conclusion: I think this study needs more study. We will therefore defer our summary at this time.