Sometimes no matter how much you want to jump ahead and make changes, you have to slow down and make sure you are taking the time to breathe and rest along the way. I want to be healed now – but I know that only time, rest and balance will help me achieve that state.
“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept responsibility for changing them.” -Denis Waitley
The past couple of weeks have been…well…eye-opening, frustrating, scary, happy, confusing, restful, complicated, fatiguing, and joyous. I continue to recover from the complications of my seizures and the emergency response, and I had the pleasure of spending another evening in the emergency room this past week, on the advice of my neurologist who did not like my colour and the sound of my lungs at my visit. Off he sent me to emergency – and long story short – given that it is likely I aspirated vomit during my seizures, they checked me again for pneumonia. So…hours later, I walked out with a prescription for a strong antibiotic that will not lower my seizure threshold, and will tackle the bacteria in my lungs that have made me do my best imitation of a duck coughing up a lung. I also am taking ibuprofen to try to reduce the swelling of my arm veins from the trauma of trying to have IV’s put in during the former emergency. I am still, at the present time, keeping an eye on that and it too may need further medical attention if the swelling does not subside.
Wow. This poop is getting serious now, eh? Wiggle room is disappearing rapidly in terms of being able to push my own limits. Hmph. All that being said – my ability to cope with all of this has been greatly enhanced by my yoga, my family and friends, and my love & hero, SuperMike. And the more there are witnessed events, the closer we may come to figuring out what the heck is going on. (Always a bright side to be found, if you look!) My goal right now is to figure out if I have an aura of some kind that I just have to be aware enough to recognise.
If you get up one more time than you fall, you will make it through.
So how do I accomplish that goal? By being mindful, aware, and respectful of myself – fully and truly respectful of myself. By listening – truly listening – to what my body is trying to tell me. By reading my own blogs, emails, and such, and taking note of patterns that have lead to such events. By doing what I do best – applying my scientific mind to the matter, but in a more yogic-zen-peaceful and mindful way, being fully present in each moment. And by laughing and loving – loving myself, my family, my friends.
“He who has health has hope, and he who has hope has everything.” –Proverb