“Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.” -Etty Hillesum
Rest – a small word that in our fast-paced society can sometime be a dirty 4-letter word.
I continue to be on the mend, and slowly pulling my thought functions back together as I allow my body to rest when it needs to do so. Yoga is definitely an asset in this healing process – not only for the physical aspects of helping me become aware of any new quirks in my body, but for giving me the strength and tools for coping with the trauma and lifestyle changes as a result of the seizure emergency.
Considering that I am missing 2 days, and “awoke” to a mess of tubes, bruises, pain, and confusion, and that there were subsequent lung infection complications, and more pain and fatigue, I am doing quite well. In the past, I would likely have been a mess of tears and fears. Am I still dealing with tears and fears? You betcha. The difference is that now I can pull myself out of the trauma and drama and view the situation from a witness perspective. I see this as another learning tool along my strange and interesting life journey – the fear no longer paralyzes me.
My body is new again – new quirks, new tight areas, new aches. I am starting my yoga practice, if not from scratch, then from the intro level again as my body heals and adapts to the new aspects. My bandas (core) were basically shredded by the seizures, and need rebuilding again. But less so than before I became a yoga convert – so there is the bright side! My muscle memory is allowing my body to bounce back quicker. Yoga modifications are allowing me to give myself the gentle transition I need to regain my strength and health. Sensations are different – some areas more sensitive than before, some lacking sensation.
My cognitive function recovery is…different…than last time. In someways faster, in other ways…weirder. Mushier somehow – I am not sure how to explain the sensation. I lost two days this time around and had multiple seizures, so I guess that is to be expected. Word searching seems to be the biggest problem – I just can’t find words that I need for the life of me these days! Faces that I know that I should recognize are sometimes strange to me – names gone. I find myself going around asking people if there was anything I forgot to send them recently or meetings we had planned. Oy!
“No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again.” -Buddha
As I always strive to learn from events in my life, I have found lessons in this recent event too. Lessons that have shown me the true meaning of love, friendship, respect, and the value of actually valuing and respecting one-self. Some life lessons just come at ya a little bit harder than others at times, eh?