Yesterday was a huge sucker punch in the gut. But I am just waking up and trying to look at yesterday a little different. I know what the Dr. said is a reality for all of us MS'ers not just myself. I left there yesterday wanting to give up all hope. Thanks to some friendly advice from fellow MS'ers and my Mom. I have chosen to remember what I felt like on Monday. Which was sore from the canoe trip, sad and scared about my kids leaving but most of all feeling good about my MS. I may be progressing in their eyes but I am still working and I am still getting out when I can and doing some gardening and enjoying my garden spaces. For goodness sakes I sat in a canoe for almost 9 hours on Saturday. My life is not over nor is it near being over like the picture she painted for me yesterday.
I will continue to do whatever I can for my intestinal shut down and when that stops working I will continue to try anything I can before a tube ever needs to be inserted. But if that day comes. I will be sad but that too does not mean my life is over. There are many people in this world that have a feeding tube and they make it work. As for my legs... I will continue to Wii and do what I can. I was told last year that a wheelchair would be inevitable for me in the future. I thought that was a huge sucker punch then. But it's been a year since that comment has been made and I am still walking. (yes there are times I need my cane or wish I had a wheelchair for longer walking distances) but I am still walking.
My feeling the day the Dr. told me about the having to be in a wheelchair eventually (because of where the MS is doing the majority of its attacking) was "I WILL PROVE YOU WRONG". Now I am not in denial like the Doctors think. I know that these things will probably happen but if you take what the Doctor's say and truely believe what they are telling you. Then most of us would be laying in bed waiting for the inevitable. We would give up.
MY Conclusion: We can not give up "HOPE"! I know I have said it before. Doctors don't know everything. We know ourselves better than they do so.... Please take the information from yesterday's blog and use that as an example (or prepare) for what you may hear someday at an appointment. But Most of all remember that they are so close to finding a CURE for this Sucky Disease. Don't ever give up HOPE! Yes you can be sad or angry or even scared about this disease But you need to be STRONG! In all honesty you are the only one that can fight what is happening to your body.