Constructs are the walls created within our minds by Religion, Society and Family. Largely our childhood ‘foundation years’ creates our general understanding of the ‘way life should be’ through language, religion, culture, school and family values.
If you run into a situation where one is not “open” towards an experience, or a piece of knowledge… understanding what construct or wall that has been ingrained within them will allow you to view in many ways why they act a certain way.
Starting with relationships today, religion, family and school in the next post. I believe it will be enough.
An analogy on freedom I think is the best approach here.
The one has always tried to cut the freedom of the other in every way. This is politics; it is not love. You love the other but you don’t give them their freedom. What kind of love is this, which is afraid of giving freedom? You encage them like a parrot. You can say you love the parrot, but you don’t understand: you are killing the animal.
You have taken away from the parrot their whole sky, and you have given them just a cage. The cage may be made of gold, but even a golden cage is nothing to be compared with the freedom of the parrots in the sky, moving from tree to tree, singing their song not what you force them to sing, but what is natural to them.
Eliminate the constructs of possessiveness and bondage; it will only cripple your partner like a zoo does a wild tiger. Eliminate the male/female role; only out of equality can there be true love. Eliminate jealousy; it houses cowardice, ego, and monopolistic desires – not an experience of love but only of possessiveness, a tendency to be competitive; a deep-rooted fear of being inferior.
Love allows freedom. Love allows that whatever the other feels like doing, they can do. Whatever they feel, if it makes them blissful it is their choice.
If you love the person, then you don’t interfere in their privacy. You leave that person’s privacy uninterfered with. You don’t try to trespass their inner being.
Love’s basic requirement is that, ‘I accept the other person as they are.’
And love never tries to change the person according to one’s own idea of them.
You do not try to cut the person here and there and bring them to size which is being done everywhere all over the world…
If you love, then there are no conditions to be put.
Either way it’s clear. If you love, then there is no question of conditions. You love them as they are. If you don’t love, then too there is no problem. They are nobody to you; there is no question of putting conditions. They can do whatsoever they want to do.
If jealousy disappears and still love remains, then you have something solid in your life which is worth having.