What’s been happening? As regular readers will know, I haven’t been posting much for the past few weeks. I just thought I’d give a bit of an update so nobody thinks that I’ve been kidnapped, or given up on blogging.
The Short Version
Regular updates resuming very, very, soon
The Long Version
For my new readers, UM.Net is slightly different than other blogs. It strongly parallels my own development. As I mentioned in myApril Fool’s dayjoke, I was going to slow down on my posting because the blog had caught up to my own explorations. I was hitting a few roadblocks and needed to overcome them in order to have something to write about (plus I haven’t been keeping notes the past few months, so I can’t remember half the little “aha!” moments I get! ARGH!).
Then suddenly my workload tripled, exam period for my studies came, and my brain completely burnt out.
After the exams, I thought I would be back in force. But I didn’t. A few reasons:
Zen Sickness.I’ve spoken to a few people about this, and many agree that there comes a stage in meditation where everything just turns flat and lifeless. Reasons and explanations differ – “all attachments are gone”, “the ego is nearly dead” (whatever that means, I don’t know, since I thought the ego never existed in the first place), and so on. Wade fromThe Middle Waycalled it Zen Sickness, although I believe it can be explained by the ladder of emotions given in the Sedona Method.
The Sedona Method.The Method, which is my favourite and currently only tool of personal growth, gives a series of stages one progresses through. (Yeap, that square banner in my sidebar isn’t for the affiliate income – although it is nice – it’s because I use it for hours a day and never endorsed anything so heartily before.)
I didn’t believe in the ladder until one day I realised I had been progressing through those exact stages in the exact stated order. Recently I was squarely in a stage called Pride, which I call assholeness, because I turned into a complete arrogant $#%@^. Luckily I was more or less aware of it, and I didn’t want to write anything in that state of mind because it would permeate everything I write. I also cut all human contact to a minimum, and still managed to have a few fights over nothing with some of my closest friends.
Above Pride was an “unofficial” stage of flatness and indifference – the “Zen Sickness” I experienced. It was very weird, definitely. For a few weeks, nothing interested me any more or made me happy. Nothing pissed me off anymore, either. I didn’t want to meditate, blog, go out, or anything that used to light my fires. I ignored emails for days and weeks, I didn’t pick up phone calls from my friends. Thankfully, I think I’m nearly out of both Pride and “Flatness”, as I am starting to feel the passion and fun for my favourite activities (including blogging) returning.
No material.Iwasstill out of material to write about. Writer’s block? Burnout? A mix, probably, but partly because of my strong focus on using the Method, I didn’t have anything new to share. Whatever I needed to work on, I just used the Method on it. In fact it is my often mentionedemotional meditation, except turbo-charged. I just didn’t want to push the Method too much because I wanted the blog to accessible to people without buying anything. Although, I’ll write a review on the product, if anyone is interested.
Just a rest.Lastly, I just needed a break to sit around and do completely nothing. I can’t remember the last time I had an extended period of rest. (Probably a year and a half ago) One of my favourite blog tips is fromSkellieWag: take a break to prevent burnout, which is preferable to forcing yourself to churn out sub-standard posts.
Also, I took some time to quit smoking during this break, which was a plus. Smoking is bad, mmmkay?
Anyways, excuses (and whining, hehehe) over. I am so relieved to see that readers have stuck by me during my extended absence. Thank you! I will be back very soon.