After thinking over what I have done in my life. Nothing is that significant. I did not get into the college I dream about, or anything special about me that makes me feel well. I know that is life, it is suppose to be tough. So I decided instead of being sad. I should take a more positive stand in life and strive for a new goal.
This is interesting because I have been thinking of life purpose a lot. The conclusion I came to is that all external goals are temporary and at some point or other will disappoint us. For me, the objective now is to think of my purpose in life as a way of being--learning to derive meaning from being completely in the present and embodying my ideals, rather than seeking meaning in things like job titles or external status. It took me a long time to arrive at that place, but the thing with goals is that when you achieve one, it's never enough and you never attain true satisfaction. Reminds me of a story I read in the New York Times about Americans in the top two percent of wage earners in the country who still didn't feel like they were making enough because they knew people who had more than them--absurd but true!
I think it's useful to think of your life purpose in a broader scope and to be gentle with yourself. You may not think that anything you've done is significant, but there are so many small things we take for granted, like the times we've been truly selfless and have helped people in our lives get through rough times. There are so many small cumulative moments like that. Be gentle with yourself. You are enough, just as you are now.
Hi Chengcheng. Please dont' be discouraged. Just the fact that you're striving is HUGE; so many people don't. It WILL lead to something. My life has gone into so many different directions, and I find it's more fun that while I'm pushing ahead I also just go with the flow and look forward to the unexpected new things on the other side. They often happily surprise you.
What worked for me in the past was even when I was not doing what I wanted full-time, I still continued to do things that gave me joy, even with limited time to do them. I continued to dance, I continued to create. I also looked for ways to learn more about the things I loved - and, I'm still on the path to self-education. Whether taking classes at night or on the weekends, going to events, or simply spending time at home working on small, heartfelt projects, those small steps add up.
Also, being clear about what you don't want to do is key. If you have to do something you don't like (such as job to make ends meet, or a college course), know it's a temporary means to an end.
Anyway, try to be easier on yourself. Find those little things that make you smile, laugh out loud, make you feel relaxed, and devote time to doing them, at least one of them once a week.
You are still very young and have your whole life ahead of you. You will find as you go that sometimes what you thought was the right thing for you wasn't...that sometimes, when you don't get what you want, what you get instead is in fact better for you. For example, you may fid that the college you end up going to is better for you. There, you might meet the love of your life or get involved with something that may not have happened if you had gone to your first choice. So cheer up and trust that the best is yet to come!