What I’ve observed in a recent transaction is the completely failing of this one commitment. Her growth is scary to him because it has lead her into breaking their connection. He suffocates her, tells her what she likes and dislikes which are things that haven’t actually been true for her for a long time. He wants her to still be the same. As if it’s impossible for people to change. No, he just wants to feel like he still knows about her well. But he doesn’t. Sadly, he doesn’t know about her hardly at all anymore. Not entirely his fault though.
She has grown wings at this stage in her life and has tried to support him in doing the same. But he’s a stubborn man, unwilling to admit that things have changed. He rethinks the past everyday hoping that what he thinks will bring things back to “normal.” Everyone must be willing to change though and he hasn’t caught up to her and she’s gotten tired of trying.
The care, attention, affection, intimacy, connection is lost. From what I observe, it’s all virtually nonexistent and being held together by convenience and fear. Fear of it all falling apart even though it’s already demolished. Neither one listens, speaks or shows empathy. While she is trying to continue flying he is continuously trying to clip her wings. He’s not trying to do so to be cruel, but because he is being driven by fear. He knows the connection isn’t there but doesn’t want it to be true. He’s hurt deeply and it shows.
One thing we must do is commit to evolving. We are ever evolving creatures in an ever evolving world and it is our nature to continue to grow and change becoming more than we were yesterday. Evolving is a commitment that we make within ourselves.
Let people grow, evolve, change, and expand in cosmic unions. Divine unions. Love temples. Marriages. We do this by each making a commitment to ourselves to evolve and that the purpose of the relationship is to help build each other up. To nurture and support these changes. To love ourselves and one another. To show up and be honest. To honor our feelings and theirs.
I’ve started cultivating these practices within myself and am always aware of who I am being and how I am showing up in every romantic encounter. I am committed to evolving and I am committed to allowing you to do the same.