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Miracle cure to losing weight. I've found what you've wanted/needed all along. (And the winner of my Nuts!)

Posted Apr 30 2012 9:44pm
Hello, all! I use the term "all" VERY VERY loosely here to be sure and encompass all 2 of you readers and any possible visitors.

Have I got a Jim Dandy of a treat for you! I've found the ULTIMATE weight loss/diet fix. It's guaranteed to work for almost every living human and it's FREE! I'm not going to try to market or sell anything to you. I'm here to give you an HONEST look into my world of getting healthier, smaller (in the way of fat%), better, and bigger (in the way of awesome, muscles, and writing).

I'm telling you, you're gonna want to read on and trust me here. Even if you don't trust me, just place your skepticism and judgement on a coaster to the side long enough to read through to the end of the post.

And now, the disclaimer! 

If you've read any of my writing thus far here, on Facebook, or on Twitter, then goody goody gum drops, you don't need the warning. HOWEVER! If this is your first stop by my interwebspacepartment, you need this warning: I am really, really, seriously, down to the depths of my very small soul pissed off irritated about this subject and this post is mostly a rant and lots of warning! It's also a quick line about who won the nuts I was giving away, but that's gonna be the smallest part of this entry/post/profanity laden writing you are about to delve into. (If you're just here to see who the winner is, go all the way to the bottom, it's there. Thanks for stopping by.)

And now, we get to the nitty gritty of the miracle I have for you today! When I say miracle, I mean miracle. It's not like anything else you're reading in the headlines or seeing on those "hurry up and lose weight for your wedding you have in 2 months, even though your ass has known about and been planning for it for almost/over a year" kind of shows. No. This is pure, unadulterated amazing awesomeness in real life kind of truth. 

This message & logo by, approved 4 my wearing.
Epidermal art is by Leina at  Sacred Rites Tattoo  in North Port, FL

So when all is said and done, there is no miracle. I know, I lied. Get over it.
It's all pretty simple. You start with moving. LOTS of moving, then work your way up to worrying about the food thing. Too many people do this backwards and think that diets will solve the problem. THEY WON'T! Get up, off your ass, move, sweat, smell horrible, and be sore. Sore is good (as long as it's not excruciating), it lets you know there is growth around the corner. Muscle growth and personal growth and an opening of the heart and mind to accept that no matter how much you change outside, you've gotta be good with the inside. 
I challenge you to look at yourself in the mirror. Not just a getting ready for school/work/appointments quick look. I'm talking a full on creepy non-blinking hard to retain eye contact STARE! Look long and hard at YOU and find something you didn't notice the last time. Don't judge what it is, just recognize that it's there and move on. Next, you're going to find something you LOVE about yourself. Yes, while continuing with the creepy staring. It doesn't have to be physical or major. You need to look yourself in the eye and OUT LOUD like the crazy you know you are and tell yourself this thing that you think is so awesome about you (physical, emotional, whatever) and tell yourself what it is and why it's uniquely yours and what it is that you can do to expand that bit of awesome you know you have. This is gonna take a while, so don't do it when you're in a hurry. The hardest part is not laughing at yourself during the staring part or during the talking to yourself part. This is because we all take too much time and energy out of our days reminding ourselves what what we want to fix or make better or change because of whatever reason. Remember that no matter who you are, you're the fucking best at it that there will ever be!

Alright, I know you're sick of my bipolar rambling, ranting, encouragement and you wanna know who won my nuts, right? Well, over  in this little cyberspace  it has been announced and stamped into history that STARVING BITCH gets my nuts in their mouth. (to see the comment,  go here.  To meet Starving Bitch, head  over here  to meet her and read a bit of her info, posts, and goals.)

Congratulations, lady and I hope my toffee nuts are tasty. hahahahaha

Go out and have an adventure, everyone. After this long winded crap, you deserve it as an award for making it through!

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