One trainer stands out from my Feldenkrais program when she took my hand to demonstrate a movement. My whole body seemed to come alive and connect with her as if I knew the movement she wanted before she moved me. I felt light, floating and moved in ways that were previously difficult on my own but easy and effortless with her guidance. When she let go I knew I had to learn how to get that connection because it was intoxicating and transformational. I have been cultivating that level of structural touch and connection with others through my work and life ever since. When meeting new people the looks of surprise and perplexity in others is validating of its power, and they don’t forget me which is good for business!
New clients that see me for the first time are amazed at how quickly they trust my connection and respond to it. Being touched is potentially fearful for many people so they try to connect with one another very little or the connection is so perfunctory it is a brush-by.
You must have experienced the ‘hug’ where you lean in your head so your cheeks sort of touch, but god forbid should any part of the torso connect; or the handshake that goes limp in yours; or the handshake that attempts to crush you? Even with people we know well the hug may be like two trees crashing into one another with a couple of quick bangs on the back – feels so good doesn’t it? Most of us confuse our sensuality of touch with sex or gayness so how we touch one another becomes harsh and detached.
Yet people I come in contact with react to a connection that they feel through to their bones, beyond skin and muscle, to their very core and they crave more. Every client that started with the tree hug soon learned to go for the hug that connects you through to the core of your structure. I am not talking about the new age hug either, that is just as disconnected except with good intentions. We are starved to be more deeply connected in ways that we feel in our core; deeper than muscles and flesh; connection that affects our brain and emotions profoundly, sensually, whether it is a stranger you meet for the first time or a loved one.
It is difficult to convey in words what if feels like to connect with one another through our core skeletal structure, but some professional ballroom dancers convey this and we find ourselves mesmerized by their performance. Horse and dog whisperers have cultivated a connection that instantly affects the animals they interact with such that all bad behaviour stops very quickly. Put them back with their owners and the same problems persist because the owners must be shown how to connect first with themselves and then with their animal friends. The following video shows a lovely, gentle connection with a newborn baby getting a bath. Notice how the baby responds to the sensual touch of the water and becomes at ease and peaceful. There are so many ways to be sensual with one another, connections that would foster a very different culture than we experience today. People who interact at a structural level cannot treat one another with detachment because deep structural contact is an emotional connection.
Step one to cultivate structural connections start with you. A great beginning on your journey starts with our Balance for Movement DVD . Sensual, structural touch enriches and transforms your life intellectually, emotionally and physically.