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In My Daughter’s Eyes Project

Posted Apr 30 2010 12:00am
wedding
I need to send a big thank you to Janae at Pink Moss for starting the “In My Daughter’s Eyes Project”. She is trying to get at least 100 women to write a letter with words of wisdom to their 12 year old selves. Please join her project by clicking on the link to her. Today was an astounding day to stumble upon this project since today is the day I chose to quit smoking. In the past I have paid hypnotists to help me quit and to try and get in touch with that 12 year old girl who made the decision to start at such a young age. This time I am sending her a heartfelt letter and is just the cathartic experience I need as I sit here struggling.
Dear 12 Year Old Me,
It’s so good to see you, I know you are going through a tough time right now. Dealing with your parents, living and trying to fit into two entirely different worlds. At 38 you are still trying to fit into two different worlds; always a duality within yourself.  Today I quit smoking; this is not the first time. You may find this hard to believe but in the very near future you will start smoking. I wish I could turn back time and make sure you don’t start; but I can’t and everything is for a reason.
In fact there was a point in time where smoking served you well, it was a defense mechanism one night even say a survival mechanism…but smoking is no longer serving you. You are a very intelligent girl who has made many wise decisions in her life; this was not one of them because quitting smoking will be one of the hardest things you have to do. You have had great jobs, the Universe has always taken care of you, you have a great husband and a fantastic little boy. This will be your only regret. Yes there are things you have done too much of or not enough, you want to travel more, you wish you were not as into money when you were younger but more into natural health like you are now (funny how those things happen) but all of that is exactly as its supposed to be, because now you know you were meant to explore and make those discoveries with your family.
You are a strong-willed girl and will be a strong-willed woman; you just need to put that focus and energy into the right places. You will become a compassionate woman who champions for the greater good. And as it turns out you are passionate about natural health and teaching women how to use plants for medicine, love animals, and most importantly how to live your passions while raising a child. Many people are shocked to learn that you smoke because of these passions and it is a place of shame for you. So you are going to let it go; just as your young son starts to ask you to quit; and he helps you by encouraging you. You can’t deny the value of these words coming from your little boy.
You have learned a lot about yourself by having a child and your place in the world. Nothing turns out as you expected to but that is what keeps life exciting. So keep going down the path you are on, you have a lot of fun, a lot of tears, and learn from a lot of mistakes. Having those real life experiences and downfalls enables you to teach others from the perspective of having been there. Being far from perfect. But you know there are so many more things to see and do and be exposed to. Getting healthier will allow you many more years to do those things. And just know you are who you are meant to be, and you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Always feed your passion for knowledge, and always be willing to share that knowledge with others and you will have a long and passionate life.
Love, the Dina who is a little older and little wiser
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