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Can You See, Hear, Feel, Understand My Meaning?

Posted Mar 16 2009 3:19pm

I’m still talking about words in the first post for this new week!

How To Use Sensory Language

To build connection, simply notice the sensory word preferences of the people you talk with and then reply in kind. With this language tool, you can build trust and increase interest in what you have to say. 

The simplest way to reply in kind is to hear the phrases a person uses and use those same phrases, modifying them slightly so they sound natural and normal in their usage.  But it can’t hurt to learn a few key phrases in each sensory system and have them in your back pocket. (*That’s a metaphor, another interesting way of building connection, which I’ll save for another day!)  

Sight: 

I see what you mean.  That looks possible.  Can you shed a little more light on that for me?  Don’t keep me in the dark any longer!  Sorry, my memory is a little cloudy today.    What a bright idea!

Sound: 

That’s music to my ears.  Your words ring true.  All that jazz.  I hear you, loud and clear.  How can we orchestrate this campaign?   You have perfect pitch!  That eliminates the static.  Thanks for helping me get past the noise. 

Feeling: 

Can you handle this?  She’s too tough on you.  I’m a soft touch for this kind of idea.  I can’t quite put my finger on it.  I’ve got to hand it to you. Success is within our reach.  Let’s iron out the wrinkles.   I’m ready to jump on board. 

Abstract:

Let’s be cautious.  I’m confident we can develop this. I remain hopeful we can resolve this.  I’m puzzled.  I’m relieved.  That is very thoughtful.  It has yet to be decided. 

Now that you have a handle on sensory words (feeling phrase), you can tune in to your ability (sound phrase) to use them by showing yourself that you can (sight phrase.)  Then you can have an interesting time noticing and responding to the words people use (abstract).  If this is a new idea for you, give yourself a little time to notice how commonly and consistently people use these sense expressions.  They are signals to you about how to respond.  I promise that if you take the time to play with words, and learn a few phrases, you will gain an amazing tool to help you click.    

There are two special situations in which making a connection over the phone can play a big role in the way your life turns out.  I’m referring to job interviews, and flirting, and I’ll discuss them in upcoming posts.  Meanwhile, I’d love to hear your thoughts and get a feel for what you find when you watch and observe people for sensory language!

Be well,

Rick

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