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Are you ok with not being ok?


Posted by Lara I.

I've recently discovered that a lot of people I know, myself included, frequently struggle with being ok with not being ok. Our society has sort of trained us to do something about it, find a fix, which sometimes leaves us jumping to unhealthy solutions. Are you ok with not being ok? What do you do when you don't feel well, emotionally or physically? Or, do you do nothing?
 
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Getting perspective. Most days I'm fine with who I am. When the infomercials and makeover shows start looking a little too enticing I run down to the local chain store and park myself on a bench. Seeing real people of all ages and in a range of physical conditions puts things back into perspective for me since none of them had the benefit a team of beauty experts or have been air brushed prior to their grocery shopping expedition.
Rationality. Keep things rational and keep to your own drum. A really excellent web site to go to and get perspective of civilization and social intercourse is Will Durant Foundation. Wonderful and thought provoking look at society yesterday and today. "If you wish to be loved, be modest; if you wish to be admired, be proud; if you wish both, combine external modesty with internal pride." Will Durant http://www.willdruant.com
It really depends on what you mean. In terms of physical and emotional problems, some are obviously much more serious than others and do require immediate attention. But I know what you mean about our society's tendency to want to "fix" every perceived problem. Getting perspective on your situation by talking to friends, a professional (such as a therapist or a doctor), or someone else in your support system is always a good idea. We also need to get past the idea that experiencing physical or emotional lows means we're not okay and need to be fixed. Sometimes the body needs to be "sick" in order to repair compromised immune functions, and experiencing emotional lows can be a valuable way to reach deeper understanding about ourselves and our lives. Just be gentle with yourself and understand that everything comes and goes in cycles--sometimes, you don't need to force a solution on a problem that isn't really there.
Give Yourself a Break. Try this: ask yourself, what would it be like if I were okay? What would it be like if I didn't HAVE to accomplish anything at all? What would it feel like to just be fine the way you are? What would you do right now if you didn't have to do anything at all. Of course we all have standards and responsibilities, but sometimes it's important to step back and just BE.
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