Yes I love my kids, and secretly I do think my kids are better than others sometimes. Well, I guess not-so-secretly now. But growing up when, no matter how hard I busted my ass, it never seemed good enough, I let my kids know when I think they've done something above and beyond awesome. I don't believe in falsly inflating their egos: I'll leave that the the parents of the majority of applicants of American Idol. (Really, is America THAT TONE DEAF??)
I do let me kids know when they've disappointed me--or not worked up to their potential. I let them know when they've screwed up or done something dumb. It's all about balance.
JudoQueen, now 16, sometimes accuses me of "lying" when I praise her. That's when I get pissed and tell her in not so many words that I WILL NOT lie to her just to boost her mood. That I am genuine with my praise, just as I am genuine when she's in the doghouse. I know it's the teen in her that doubts. But I also know she does have a pretty good sense of self that overrides the crap that society tries to feed her.
Here's an overview of MY AWESOME KIDS.......
JediBoy just started 4th grade (9 1/2...yes the half is important!). After a bit of a rocky end to last school year (all A's and a few B's went to a few A's, some B's and C's) we're all a little tense. He is still in gifted (reading/math) and we're hoping a little time and maturity will make this year a bit better. His best friend is in gifted with him, so that's a bonus.
His biggest problem--organization. He will do the work and then not turn it in. Also, staying focused. His brain works so darn fast it affects his concentration. The idea of having him privately tested for any type of learning disorder or anxiety is still tucked into my head. It's not unusual for gifted kids to also have ADD or Anxiety. I *know* he has inherited the anxiety from me. And the boy is smart (IQ is 150-154, he qualifies for Mensa). So I don't see a reason for him to be getting C's. That's just not ok in our family--barring any medical reason. I know it's not his best.
Even if he tests for ADD, we will still need to work on issues so that he CAN do better than average. If this sounds harsh, so be it. It's not like he gets lashed or has to sleep outside. He doesn't even get a lecture. We note it, talk about it, then it's done and we work towards the next 9 weeks.
He's doing so much better in Judo--I tell you, that half-year has always made a huge difference in my kids' maturity levels. We did cut back on tournaments due to summer plans--a trip to the beach to watch the last shuttle launch was way more important than another judo tourney! But he's starting to find some consistency and doing better.
He's the social butterfly of the neighborhood--most of his friends are his age or younger and they flock here every day. This did cause one problem--a big one--when one of them brought a lighter over and my son had his very first pyro moment. He took a box of matches and went to town. Thank GOD no one got hurt and nothing was damaged. The offender was banned (this was not the first time he's broken rules here) and my son was severely punished. I made him look through a burn victim's blog and photos. It was gruesome. It was nauseating. And it worked.
Of course he did flit off one day without letting us know and for a frantic 30 minutes we searched for him. He was only a street away--but still needs to be reminded to tell us where he's going. There's heavy construction going on around our neighborhood and lots of cars coming thru due to detours.
Yes, this is why my hair is going white and I am losing my hair.
(Um where is the awesomeness? getting to that)
I was heartbroken when he didn't get into a special medical camp. They don't have a session for kids with food allergies so that is my goal this year--to campaign for one. However he did spend some magical time at my parents' house, playing with his nearly 2yr old cousin PoohBear, swimming, and even learning how to shoot--using a Red Ryder BB Gun. And he didn't shoot his eye out. My dad was quite impressed at his natural talent. He definitely has the boy gene!
After returning home from one week, he informed me that he and his friends were going to start running lemonade stands. Wondering what in the world he was raising money for, he answered: To raise money so that I can adopt a pug.
Yes, I cried.
He knew that with school and judo, I spend a lot of time alone, and he knew that a pug would keep me company. Don't get me wrong, Willow is an awesome dog. But she's rather random with her affection. I need a constant shadow. I was so very touched by my son's loving heart and generosity. Even at 9 1/2, he loves to hug, kiss and cuddle. He prays for whatever is bothering me. He loves to nap in my bed, bring me ice packs, whatever.
His newfound love of herpetology (study of reptiles and amphibians) means a room redecoration is in order. Gone will be the room decor he's had for many years, of trucks, trains, airplanes, the little "road" painted around the middle of his room. It will become many shades of green to mimic a rainforest, complete with life-size photograph decals that are sure to make his grandma jump with fright. No more Cars curtains or rainbow colored tent over his bunkbead--he's trading those for herpetology-themed fabric for his windows and camoflage for the tent. Boy heaven.
His health is better than average. Though his latest allergy results were disappointing, he still handles his food allergies and asthma in stride. He thinks nothing of wearing his medic alert bracelet or tucking his epi-pack into his pocket every day for school.
However, his immune responses have climbed. Normal IgE should be under 300. His went from under 3000, to 3500. I am not too upset--at 3 yrs old it was over 5 thousand. His eosinophils were also elevated. His allergist said that by all rights, his eczema should be back, or his asthma out of control, and it's neither. So he's having a retest of his eosinophils--most likely it's because his IgE is so high (rarely it's a sign of cancer). Thankfully though, he doesn't seem to suffer the same problems that most people with Hyper IgE Syndrome, or Eosinophilia seem to have. THAT is a relief.
We are thrilled that his doctor has finally agreed to begin screatch testing on his allergy foods of dairy, eggs and shellfish. His allergist is very conservative where peanuts are concerned so right now, since we know for a fact that he is ana to peanuts, we may only test him for tree nuts and avoid peanuts. We'll see.
I do let me kids know when they've disappointed me--or not worked up to their potential. I let them know when they've screwed up or done something dumb. It's all about balance.
JudoQueen, now 16, sometimes accuses me of "lying" when I praise her. That's when I get pissed and tell her in not so many words that I WILL NOT lie to her just to boost her mood. That I am genuine with my praise, just as I am genuine when she's in the doghouse. I know it's the teen in her that doubts. But I also know she does have a pretty good sense of self that overrides the crap that society tries to feed her.
Here's an overview of MY AWESOME KIDS.......
JediBoy just started 4th grade (9 1/2...yes the half is important!). After a bit of a rocky end to last school year (all A's and a few B's went to a few A's, some B's and C's) we're all a little tense. He is still in gifted (reading/math) and we're hoping a little time and maturity will make this year a bit better. His best friend is in gifted with him, so that's a bonus.
His biggest problem--organization. He will do the work and then not turn it in. Also, staying focused. His brain works so darn fast it affects his concentration. The idea of having him privately tested for any type of learning disorder or anxiety is still tucked into my head. It's not unusual for gifted kids to also have ADD or Anxiety. I *know* he has inherited the anxiety from me. And the boy is smart (IQ is 150-154, he qualifies for Mensa). So I don't see a reason for him to be getting C's. That's just not ok in our family--barring any medical reason. I know it's not his best.
Even if he tests for ADD, we will still need to work on issues so that he CAN do better than average. If this sounds harsh, so be it. It's not like he gets lashed or has to sleep outside. He doesn't even get a lecture. We note it, talk about it, then it's done and we work towards the next 9 weeks.
He's doing so much better in Judo--I tell you, that half-year has always made a huge difference in my kids' maturity levels. We did cut back on tournaments due to summer plans--a trip to the beach to watch the last shuttle launch was way more important than another judo tourney! But he's starting to find some consistency and doing better.
He's the social butterfly of the neighborhood--most of his friends are his age or younger and they flock here every day. This did cause one problem--a big one--when one of them brought a lighter over and my son had his very first pyro moment. He took a box of matches and went to town. Thank GOD no one got hurt and nothing was damaged. The offender was banned (this was not the first time he's broken rules here) and my son was severely punished. I made him look through a burn victim's blog and photos. It was gruesome. It was nauseating. And it worked.
Of course he did flit off one day without letting us know and for a frantic 30 minutes we searched for him. He was only a street away--but still needs to be reminded to tell us where he's going. There's heavy construction going on around our neighborhood and lots of cars coming thru due to detours.
Yes, this is why my hair is going white and I am losing my hair.
(Um where is the awesomeness? getting to that)
I was heartbroken when he didn't get into a special medical camp. They don't have a session for kids with food allergies so that is my goal this year--to campaign for one. However he did spend some magical time at my parents' house, playing with his nearly 2yr old cousin PoohBear, swimming, and even learning how to shoot--using a Red Ryder BB Gun. And he didn't shoot his eye out. My dad was quite impressed at his natural talent. He definitely has the boy gene!
After returning home from one week, he informed me that he and his friends were going to start running lemonade stands. Wondering what in the world he was raising money for, he answered: To raise money so that I can adopt a pug.
Yes, I cried.
He knew that with school and judo, I spend a lot of time alone, and he knew that a pug would keep me company. Don't get me wrong, Willow is an awesome dog. But she's rather random with her affection. I need a constant shadow. I was so very touched by my son's loving heart and generosity. Even at 9 1/2, he loves to hug, kiss and cuddle. He prays for whatever is bothering me. He loves to nap in my bed, bring me ice packs, whatever.
His newfound love of herpetology (study of reptiles and amphibians) means a room redecoration is in order. Gone will be the room decor he's had for many years, of trucks, trains, airplanes, the little "road" painted around the middle of his room. It will become many shades of green to mimic a rainforest, complete with life-size photograph decals that are sure to make his grandma jump with fright. No more Cars curtains or rainbow colored tent over his bunkbead--he's trading those for herpetology-themed fabric for his windows and camoflage for the tent. Boy heaven.
His health is better than average. Though his latest allergy results were disappointing, he still handles his food allergies and asthma in stride. He thinks nothing of wearing his medic alert bracelet or tucking his epi-pack into his pocket every day for school.
However, his immune responses have climbed. Normal IgE should be under 300. His went from under 3000, to 3500. I am not too upset--at 3 yrs old it was over 5 thousand. His eosinophils were also elevated. His allergist said that by all rights, his eczema should be back, or his asthma out of control, and it's neither. So he's having a retest of his eosinophils--most likely it's because his IgE is so high (rarely it's a sign of cancer). Thankfully though, he doesn't seem to suffer the same problems that most people with Hyper IgE Syndrome, or Eosinophilia seem to have. THAT is a relief.
We are thrilled that his doctor has finally agreed to begin screatch testing on his allergy foods of dairy, eggs and shellfish. His allergist is very conservative where peanuts are concerned so right now, since we know for a fact that he is ana to peanuts, we may only test him for tree nuts and avoid peanuts. We'll see.