"There are two reasons people don't like you: Ignorance and Jealousy"~~The Libertine
I am so glad I read the book "Queen Bees & Wannabes".......
DQ has been having some difficulty with a friend at school, K. Very nice girl, but she seems to be anxious all the time, especially about her looks and her weight, not to mention she also seems to be a common target for "the mean girls". Her obsessing about things is starting to wear on DQ, who can't understand why she is so down on herself. We've talked about it, and I've encouraged her to remain friends, but let her know she is concerned, and possibly have K talk to the school counselor.
DQ has always been independent of the cliques, though she gets along with many different types of groups. She's also kind and fiercely loyal to her friends. Given that she's smart and athletic to boot, she's been a target herself. She's more into academics than boys (though she has a crush on one) but is hardly without a dance partner at the quarterly dances. She also won the 7th grade spelling bee (but will have to miss out on County because of the yearly fieldtrip), and will be in an accellerated math class (finishing pre-algebra this semester, Algebra next semester, and then Geometry in 8th grade). Both of these were announced today. It's a small school. Word gets around fast.
Well, the mean girls sunk to a new low today. One of her friends told her that a rumor is going around--that she and K are gay.
Thankfully my daughter was more angry than hurt, and K doesn't know. Especially after starting Judo, DQ is ready to kick some mean girl ass. She doesn't know who started it, but she has a pretty good idea.
I told her not to change a thing about how she lives her life, not to give them the satisfaction, and especially to not distance herself from K because of this--which is one of the reasons I think they started it. They know that with DQ by her side, she's not going to let anyone pick on her. I told her it doesn't matter who started it--just that she not let it get to her, and to keep me informed of any future harrassment. DQ can hold her own, but I'm not about to let it continue either.
I also told DQ that if it wasn't this, if she were friends with a guy, they would call her a slut. Or any number of ridiculous reasons to taunt her. It's their problem, not hers.
We've had discussions before about what gay means. She got to meet my awesome friend Eric, who is gay. She knows and shares my anger at how gays are treated by some misinformed bigots, and how they deserve the same freedoms we do. So the label didn't bother her as much as the fact that there is a rumor. She knows it's not true and that her real friends are by her side.
I told her to read the book, I shared my own torments, and that of my sisters. There are alot of mean people out there. But my girl has a heart of gold and a pretty strong backbone. They picked the wrong girl to mess with. I almost feel sorry for them.