I have previously written several times about "therapeutic distinctions" I've found useful in my work as a counselor and psychotherapist. "Therapeutic distinctions" are pairs of concepts that can seem similar but which have subtle differences that are useful in helping maintain good mental and emotional balance along the often rocky path of life. I encourage you to click the category entitled "Therapeutic Distinctions" and look them over if you haven't done so already.
From time to time I come across another pair of therapeutic distinctions (often when they arise in a therapy session with a client) and rather than wait until I get a collection of them I'm just going to post them as they come to me. This leads to today's distinction between "wounds" and "scars".
It's a very rare person who hasn't had some really bad stuff happen in his or her life. As Westley says in "The Princess Bride", "Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something." Because of this sad fact you have and will continue to suffer wounds to the heart. A wound by definition causes pain and impairment to your functioning. Sometimes wounds don't heal very well, even after many years. This is where some good counseling is often very helpful.
But even when wounds do heal, they leave scars. A Scar is a reminder of a former wound. It's like a soldier's battle medal or a historic marker of an important event from the past. It says "here is where something happened that should never be forgotten." But unlike a wound, a scar does not hurt in real time. You can look at it and remember the event that caused it, but it no longer causes you functional impairment, nor do you experience raw pain at the thought of it. I consider these kinds of battle scars to be signs of wisdom and strength gained by what we have lived through.
One therapeutic technique for treating emotional wounds that has grown very popular over the last few years is called EMDR, which is a remarkable process for healing lingering wounds caused by the traumas of life. EMDR is not the only therapeutic method for helping to turn wounds into scars, but it is often a very rapid and effective way to achieve these results. I believe my abilities to successfully treat wounds of the past grew tremendously when I became trained to provide EMDR.
I have a client who used to refer to himself as a "broken toy" but who now describes himself as a "wounded warrior". I believe such shifts in language represent important steps forward in healing. Such examples of growth give me courage to bear my own personal scars with honor, dignity and pride in growing through what Hamlet described as the " slings and arrows of outrageous fortune".
I guess I can boil all this down to one sentence of advice:
Treat your wounds and honor your scars.
I have previously written several times about "therapeutic distinctions" I've found useful in my work as a counselor and psychotherapist. "Therapeutic distinctions" are pairs of concepts that can seem similar but which have subtle differences that are useful in helping maintain good mental and emotional balance along the often rocky path of life. I encourage you to click the category entitled "Therapeutic Distinctions" and look them over if you haven't done so already.
From time to time I come across another pair of therapeutic distinctions (often when they arise in a therapy session with a client) and rather than wait until I get a collection of them I'm just going to post them as they come to me. This leads to today's distinction between "wounds" and "scars".
It's a very rare person who hasn't had some really bad stuff happen in his or her life. As Westley says in "The Princess Bride", "Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something." Because of this sad fact you have and will continue to suffer wounds to the heart. A wound by definition causes pain and impairment to your functioning. Sometimes wounds don't heal very well, even after many years. This is where some good counseling is often very helpful.
But even when wounds do heal, they leave scars. A Scar is a reminder of a former wound. It's like a soldier's battle medal or a historic marker of an important event from the past. It says "here is where something happened that should never be forgotten." But unlike a wound, a scar does not hurt in real time. You can look at it and remember the event that caused it, but it no longer causes you functional impairment, nor do you experience raw pain at the thought of it. I consider these kinds of battle scars to be signs of wisdom and strength gained by what we have lived through.
One therapeutic technique for treating emotional wounds that has grown very popular over the last few years is called EMDR, which is a remarkable process for healing lingering wounds caused by the traumas of life. EMDR is not the only therapeutic method for helping to turn wounds into scars, but it is often a very rapid and effective way to achieve these results. I believe my abilities to successfully treat wounds of the past grew tremendously when I became trained to provide EMDR.
I have a client who used to refer to himself as a "broken toy" but who now describes himself as a "wounded warrior". I believe such shifts in language represent important steps forward in healing. Such examples of growth give me courage to bear my own personal scars with honor, dignity and pride in growing through what Hamlet described as the " slings and arrows of outrageous fortune".
I guess I can boil all this down to one sentence of advice: