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"Where to elect there is but one"

Posted Aug 24 2008 1:56pm
I've decided no, I can't live like this.



I've decided no, it's agonizing at its best when suicide is the only option.



What did you call it? Hobson's choice . I'd never heard of it before. But there you go, educating me as you do.



I'll never know as much as you do. But I do know pain. I know loneliness. I know the kind of gnawing pain that eats at you, like little piranha, like hundreds of little piranha... chewing away your insides until the bleeding is like a flow of a river.



That's what you do to me. That's what you do to me when I can't see you, or can't talk to you, or can't remember in my head exactly how you look, can't recall for the life of me, how you sound.



But I saw you didn't I? When you drove past me, blew past me as I struggled up that hill. You wouldn't have known it was me, of course. You wouldn't have seen me because I'm invisible. No one ever sees me. Sometimes I don't even see myself.



Sometimes I'm not there at all. But you are. Only you. It's all you.
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