Here is an interesting article that examines how women think about their first pregnancy, based on their own childhood experiences and perceptions. The study’s sample was 160 Jewish women in their last trimester who are living with their husband or partner. The researchers examined the thoughts, emotions, and expectations of the women towards themselves as future mothers, and toward their future relationship with their infants. This assessment was conducted from two perspectives - how the women viewed their own relationships with their parents when they were children, and whether the women’s motivation originated from a drive toward success, or from a desire to avoid failure. Here’s what the study found:
* If the women’s sense of her own childhood was characterized by rejection and unresolved conflicts, they expected to experience more separation anxiety, expected their children to be more demanding of them, and expected to set more boundaries for their children, compared to the other women in the study.
* If the woman characterized her relationship with her parents as involving rejection, but could not recall specifics, she tended to have positive thoughts about her pregnancy and impending motherhood. However, she also expected to have a less warm and close relationship with her baby, compared to the other women.
* Women who had the most positive recall of their own relationship with their parents also had the most optimistic expectations regarding their pending relationships with their children.
* Women who were characterized by wanting to advance, set and reach goals, and achieve were more optimistic than women who were more guarded in their outlook (defensive-minded, “avoid problems”). This included believing they would be more fulfilled by motherhood, more positive in their views of their relationship with their children, expecting better communication with their child, and a more optimistic view of being able to be productive and warm as mothers.
On the one hand, one can say that these are merely expectations, and that once the child is born, the experiences will shape the perceptions, as opposed to simply the expectations based on their own childhood. However, this data is important because:
1) How we are raised often dictates, at least to some degree, how we parent
2) Self-fulfilling prophecies can be powerful (if you expect something to be a certain way, you tend to act in such a way as to bring about the result you expected).
None of this suggests that any of the women will be bad parents. But it may be important for doctors and other professionals to at least talk briefly to pregnant women (especially first-timers) about their expectations, and discuss with them how their perceptions can influence how things turn out. I’d also be interested to see this sort of research, if it hasn’t been done already, applied to pending fathers as well.
Here is an interesting article that examines how women think about their first pregnancy, based on their own childhood experiences and perceptions. The study’s sample was 160 Jewish women in their last trimester who are living with their husband or partner. The researchers examined the thoughts, emotions, and expectations of the women towards themselves as future mothers, and toward their future relationship with their infants. This assessment was conducted from two perspectives - how the women viewed their own relationships with their parents when they were children, and whether the women’s motivation originated from a drive toward success, or from a desire to avoid failure. Here’s what the study found:
* If the women’s sense of her own childhood was characterized by rejection and unresolved conflicts, they expected to experience more separation anxiety, expected their children to be more demanding of them, and expected to set more boundaries for their children, compared to the other women in the study.
* If the woman characterized her relationship with her parents as involving rejection, but could not recall specifics, she tended to have positive thoughts about her pregnancy and impending motherhood. However, she also expected to have a less warm and close relationship with her baby, compared to the other women.
* Women who had the most positive recall of their own relationship with their parents also had the most optimistic expectations regarding their pending relationships with their children.
* Women who were characterized by wanting to advance, set and reach goals, and achieve were more optimistic than women who were more guarded in their outlook (defensive-minded, “avoid problems”). This included believing they would be more fulfilled by motherhood, more positive in their views of their relationship with their children, expecting better communication with their child, and a more optimistic view of being able to be productive and warm as mothers.
On the one hand, one can say that these are merely expectations, and that once the child is born, the experiences will shape the perceptions, as opposed to simply the expectations based on their own childhood. However, this data is important because:
None of this suggests that any of the women will be bad parents. But it may be important for doctors and other professionals to at least talk briefly to pregnant women (especially first-timers) about their expectations, and discuss with them how their perceptions can influence how things turn out. I’d also be interested to see this sort of research, if it hasn’t been done already, applied to pending fathers as well.