I receive many communications from individuals whose lives are under the tight control of a narcissist: spouses, children, siblings. They describe themselves as imprisoned. Many of them have come to accept this painful, demeaning servitude. They don't see any options ahead of them. Those who have a narcissistic parent (s) have felt trapped by these cruel individuals all of their lives. When we are very young, we are dependent on our parents for everything. There is no choice; there is only survival. Many children of narcissists continue to feel this psychological bondage despite they are endeavoring to lead their lives as separate individuals.
Many of those who are married to narcissists continue to feel the constriction of his or her psychological claws and are afraid to take the next step to freedom. Many of them have been brainwashed by their cruel partners to believe that life without them will be impossible. A typical message from the narcisisst is: "You are nothing without me. You only have significance because of me." Narcissists constantly demean those closest to him or her. They are always finding these individuals imperfect and defective.
Eventually a decision is made to remain with the narcissist as part of his golden circle and a living possession or to sever your relationship from him completely to regain and recreate your life as a unique individual. It is your right to walk away from the narcissist, whether you are a spouse, child, sibling or friend. There may be consequences. The narcissist may speak ill of you and tell lies. But how much is your freedom worth, your sense of well being, your inner peace.
Know that you can make a clean break from the narcisisst and re-institute the life that you deserve. This is the birthright of the true self, the individual you were meant to be. Visit my website: www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International