I am currently reading a devotional by Women of Faith called “Irrepressible Hope”. Tonight when I looked at the title, I wondered if it is possible to really have irrepressible hope. Then I realized that perhaps I already do.
Although most people call me a pessimist (to which I tartly respond, “I’m a realist”), I honestly think that I’m more of an undercover optimist, as are most people that suffer with clinical depression. You see, every night for the last 17 years I have gone to bed thinking, hoping, praying and believing that tomorrow will be better. That tomorrow I’ll wake up free from the depression that plagues me, that I’ll experience complete mental health and that the day will be perfect.
In those last 17 years, there was only one day that I lost all hope and tried to kill myself. But in the 13 years that have followed, I have hung on to my secret hope of a better day, of a perfectly healthy day, and have stayed alive by choice and by hope.
Yes, I know that the perfect day is probably just a dream, but that doesn’t stop me from hoping and believing that it will happen. I have an irrepressible hope for a better tomorrow.
So, as I sign off for tonight, I want to wish all of the other undercover optimists out there a good night and a dream for a better tomorrow.