Tuesday was THE day that I went back to my house in an attempt to get the last of my belongings. I wish it had gone better. It was a difficult day – made even more difficult – due to the drama that unfolded. I did not go there with the intent of starting or being a part of unnecessary drama, however, I should not have been surprised that it happened. Drama has been a major part of things.
I have done my best to keep any drama to a bare minimum, but it has been difficult. My husband has been lashing out from a place of bitterness, anger, and pain, and as a result has created unnecessary drama, and hurt feelings. He is still raging about my father calling him, and trying to convey some concerns he had for me to my husband. He has made it clear that my son is not welcome anywhere near him. He even went so far as to tell me he had changed the locks on the house. I did find out that he had lied to me about the locks.
When we started discussing when I would come get the rest of my things, he went off on several tirades about how I was the only one allowed to come. My father and/or son were not allowed. I insisted that my father was going to come with me. When THE day came to get my things, my father got a neighbor – a man about my age – to help us. My dad is in his late 60’s and is not capable of carrying heavy things himself, and I am a wimp. My mother and I had discussed whether or not we should have some sheriff’s deputies with us, and I made the decision to not do that. I was trying to avoid traumatizing my daughter anymore than she has already been.
As soon as my husband saw that we had someone else with us, he became hostile and started threatening to call the sheriff’s department . I told him that if he wanted to do that, he should go ahead. He did not. We began to get my things. Every time my father and the man he got to help us were outside, my husband and daughter would being very mean. They would say things that hurt my feelings and my daughter was extremely rude. During one of my trips outside – to put a box in the truck – I called my mother. I really needed to vent about the things my husband and daughter were saying. She reminded me that my daughter should not – under any circumstances – speak to me the way she was doing.
After speaking with my mother, I went back inside to get a few more items. My daughter was near me, my husband was all the way across the house. My daughter continued to say inappropriate things to me. I raised my voice and said something to the effect of “I do not care what is going on, you will not talk to me that way”. Immediately my husband yelled at me and responded with “She can talk to you any way she wants to”. Right after that he went outside. It was not until I took another box outside, and saw two deputies pull up, that I realized he had called the sheriff’s department to send a deputy to the house. I stayed outside, and spoke to the deputies. I did not go into any great details with them, but I did give them a basic run down on what was going on. I also told them that my husband called them after I had told my daughter to not speak to me rudely. They wanted to know who was with me, and I introduced them to my father and his neighbor.
As I was going back inside, my husband came out. The deputies began to speak to him. As much as I wanted to stand there and listen in on their conversation I did not. I did hear a few things as I was going back and forth from the house and the truck. The gist of the conversation they had with my husband was that they were unsure of why he called them out there since there was nothing bad going on. The tone of their voices sounded rather irritated. In the end, he told them that he was on probation, and felt that he needed a ‘witness” so that we could not accuse of him of anything. One deputy left, one stayed. The deputy that stayed did not say I had to hurry up, but I also know they are busy, and do not have the time to be standing around for nonsense. So my dad, and I agreed to finish things up more quickly than we had planned.
It was good that the deputy was there. It put a stop to the ugly things that my daughter and husband were saying. Unfortunately, because of having to hurry up I was not able to get some of the things I really wanted, and I forgot something that meant a lot to me. While the deputy was standing there I asked my husband if we could make arrangements for me to get anything I had to leave behind. He said “yes”. I hope he follows through with it.
As I was leaving, my daughter gave me a beautiful blanket. I asked her if I could give her a hug. She said “yes”. When I hugged her she stood there as stiff as a board. It broke my heart, and that is when I cried. It hurts to think of her being so unhappy. I wish her father would quit putting her in the middle of our mess.
It was a hard day. I felt stressed, anxious, and sad for most of it. However, I did get through it. I am so blessed to have people I can lean on during hard times like that. Between my mom, and a couple of other people I spoke with on the phone, and my internet friends, I felt supported, and cared for. That made one of the hardest days in my life easier to bear.