sometimes i want people to hurt me

I am so glad that you wrote about this.  Fantasies are normal and usually tell us something about what is going on internally and can include much emotion, fears, guilt, shame and many others.  Since it seems to be disturbing you, I would find someone that you can really open up to regarding your feelings.  I know that if I were in your position that therapy would be very helpful.  It really can be freeing.  Good luck to you.

Because you suggest that your thoughts and daydreams are not reasonable or justified, they seem to be based in feelings of guilt, unworthiness, or personal dislike. Any of these indicates underlying issues.

Talk to your school counselor about the way you feel. Explain your fears and daydreams. He/she will be able to help you work on the problem or refer you to someone who can.

The good news is, many people feel this way and you can feel better. This is a very treatable phenomenon.

Good Luck!