Queen Bee Narcissistic Sister Rules over Mother-Father-Siblings
Posted Oct 06 2011 4:21pm
It is difficult to imagine that a little girl can control an entire
household. Those of you who have been tyrannized by a sibling of this
kind understand all too well. From early childhood this daughter was
allowed by her parents to kick, demand, scream, bribe, cajole and
threaten her parents. If they didn't cave in to her wishes all hell
would break loose. The parents were terrified of "upsetting" their
little darling and capitulated to her wishes. This relinquishing of
their roles was pivotal in creating a narcissistic personality
disorder.With a sense of no limits, "You can do nothing wrong attitude",
"we are afraid to impose respectful behavior on you"---she grew in
size, outrageous demands and reprehensible behavior.
Queen Bee narcissists are physically abusive and emotionally cruel to
their siblings. They perpetrate their treachery on the younger, weaker
ones. When the parents are out of sight, they are free to shove, push,
squeeze and hit their younger siblings. The secret threat to this
terrified child is: "If you say one word to mom or dad---I will hit you
even harder. Mom and dad believe me not you. Shut your mouth, don't say a word--If you disobey me, you will be very sorry."
Some Queen Bees lock infant siblings in closets for hours when mom and
dad are out. The wretched screams of sheer terror coming from the locked
dark space doesn't phase the QB. In fact she gets a certain pleasure
and feeling of complete control from these heinous acts.
I have had communications with those who were trip-wired throughout
their childhoods and adulthoods by these cruel, ruthless narcissistic
queens of the household. These little girls who grow up to be
psychological monsters have spent much of their time making the lives of
their siblings a daily living hell.
I have known of Queen Bees who wouldn't invite a sibling to her wedding
because she was ashamed of his/her lack of education or how they looked.
The Queen Bee always wins these battles. She still has the parents
under her control and intimidation. In some cases one sibling will
become her servant---a Queen Bee Wanna Be. She follows in her shadow,
lapping up any compliments and commands she can collect.
Healing from the wrath and malevolent behaviors of the QB sibling can be
done. It first requires the recognition that you were victimized by a
very disturbed human being. You are not weak. Your sibling is a severe
narcissistic personality disorder and in some cases, a sociopath. Your
parents are weak and ineffective and allowed themselves to be taken over
by one of their own children. They helped to create a monster who still
walks the earth.
This is your time to detach and sever your relationship from the
narcissistic Queen Bee. When you take this step, you are renewing your
own life, valuing yourself as a unique individual and gaining a sense of
respite and inner peace that you deserve. Do this for yourself. Do not
be concerned what other family members think or say. This is your
business not theirs. If mother and father are perplexed about your
decision that is their issue. They never protected you from this
dreadful person. Some adult children of Queen Bee sisters find that
quality psychotherapy is helpful to them. Be sure you get an excellent
therapist. It is worth taking the time and effort and research to do
this. Learning how to calm you body and mind through yoga, tai chi and
various forms of meditation get you in touch with that interior part of
yourself that is at peace and feels secure. To learn about every facet
of the narcissistic personality disorder, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life
Buy the book:amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, widely distributed as a book and e-Book Email: lmlphd@then narcissistinyourlife.com