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Posted by Liz

I am a 40 year old female in therapy with a 40 year old male. The issues that I have had to deal with are amongst others a history of CSA. I have feelings of attraction for my therapist and have hinted as much. Of late his face has been going very red and he looks uncomfortable. When I asked him about his discomfort he replied that he often thought about these feelings, had metabolized them. He insisted that it was his stuff and that to be declarative of his feelings would affect the safety between us. He said that I had to trust him to manage himself and the space and that I had to trust him "not to act out his feelings".

I suspect that he also has physical feelings for me and am not too sure how I feel about this despite being attracted to him. Is it possible that I am projecting these feelings ie because I have physical feelings, I am reading this into his behaviour and explanations? I always thought one projected what was unconscious but I am definitely aware of my feelings. I have been with him for 2 1/2  years and we have an ongoing e-mail and sms relationship outside of therapy where we just chat and philosophise.

Thanking you in advance.Liz
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