I don't even know how to start this, but I have been really overwhelmed by therapy and things going on in my family. I don't have the energy to even write about it now. I do plan to by next week depending on how I feel. I really wanted to cover a different aspects of the Borderline Personality, for awareness week. However, I don't have it in me...maybe, later in the year. It doesn't have to be on the week of.
My therapist gave me an assignment yesterday where I was supposed to do things that I liked and to take care of myself. So, I tried to find bras at Victoria Secret without sucess. Funny, I used to find difficulty because I was too small, now it is because I am to big. Someone later congratulated me on my pregnancy...I'm fat, not pregnant.
I window shopped and chatted with the ladies at Nordstrom, purchased chocolates at Godiva, ordered bras and such on line, surfed the Internet, took a nap, at dinner, and cuddled with my husband. My husband saw my therapist last night as scheduled and came home telling me that the whole day is about me and taking care of me.
It has been tough enough that by Tuesday evening I had had three hours of therapy. I am so overwhelmed and starting to go above my baseline of suicidal and cutting thoughts. My goal is not to be hospitalized ever again.