The external image of the narcissist is the polar opposite of his/her
internal world. On the outside the classic narcissist is frequently
physically attractive, highly self confident, overflowing with charm.
You feel the strong handshake, the eyes that penetrate your gaze, the
rising of the jaw that tells you they are sure of every step. They are
in command of their lives, unafraid and sure-footed. They spin
phenomenal visions that are fueled by their grandiosity. Many people are
fascinated by the narcissist in full bloom, exhibiting all of his
persuasive gifts. When you are with a master narcissist you believe that
anything is possible and can be accomplished with ease. The
narcissistic view of life has no limits. They inspire awe in most people
if they are high level narcissists who have mastered control and
manipulation of others.
Beneath the glittery,
irresistible surface, the inner world of the narcissist is empty, bleak
and dark. There is a lifeless quality to the inner narcissist. These
individuals are unacquainted with their unconscious feelings about
themselves. They have no insight and believe their finely spun
delusions. They convince others that they are superior and super human.
Their followers are blindly loyal and believe they can do no wrong. Deep
in the unconscious the narcissist is drowning in his self loathing and
fraudulence. He feels empty and emotionally rudderless.
self hatred, psychological lifelessness, unending restlessness and rage
build up in the narcissist within the unconscious. The narcissist
cannot contain these overpowering feelings so he projects them like
bilious vomit on to those in his close environment. This includes
his/her spouses, ex-spouses, children, siblings and in-laws. When they
seethe with volcanic rage, the sounds emitted are bestial. Some of them
let loose in public. Others save these ugly, rancorous scenes for
If you share your life with a
narcissist, despite the role that you play, know that this person is
never going to change. This is a severe personality disorder that is
fixed and rigid. The narcissist lives in a psychological darkness that
pulls others down into its depths. His/her demands, hatreds,
treacheries, mounting cruelties, crimes of the heart mount as the
darkness envelops him. He is unconcerned since the narcissist is out of
touch with himself. It is those around him who are devastated by his
internal psychological poisons. At the core he is putrid like a corpse
that has been lying in the sun, giving off the lingering odor of death
and decay. How long will you stay and be disastrously affected by this
individual. Are there enough material rewards to cover up the stench of
his vile deeds and deceits. Listen and you will hear the voice of your
intuition rising, speaking to you in a compelling tone, telling you:
"Get out now. Leave. Don't stay or you will be trapped and lose
There are many who have successfully removed
themselves from the narcissist's dark inner world. They have
re-discovered themselves as individuals. The cracks of light have
lengthened. They are in full light now and traveling a different road.
Know that you can leave this dark place, that you don't belong there.
our prehistoric ancestors who carried the miracle of fire from place to
place, you have opened the warmth and light that has been waiting to
manifest itself. This incandescence cannot be extinguished. Your life
has been restored. You are free and open to all that is deep within you.
Celebrate, you are re-born. To learn about the narcissistic personality
in-depth, visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
Telephone Consultation: United States and International
Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life