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Narcissistic Women-Sexual Power Plays

Posted May 07 2010 11:40am

For thousands of years men and women have been seducing married individuals. Those who participate in these betrayals are not necessarily narcissists. In this piece I am talking about a narcissistic woman's speciality. This is the long range plotter who seeks her sexual prey among a very selective group of powerful married men. These narcissistic women weave complex plans that begin with the opening scene and follow through to the epilogue like a novel.

They begin with the chance encounter which is not an accident. They spend long periods of time thinking and scheming how they will obtain access to their target: the physically attractive, wealthy, highly powerful, often charismatic, telegenic man who moves in the highest echelons of power. Once this woman has met this fellow, she works her magic like a modern day Salome. Her veils falls more swifty than the famous biblical dancer. These women have done extensive homework on the personal background, marriage and family of the man they have deemed will become their perfect partner. Like a laser beam, the narcissistic femme fatale seizes the right moment to sexually engage her future partner. Often she becomes part of his entourage by offering her professional services. She makes sure that he knows nonverbally that she is sexually available and eager for a coupling.

A famous lyric from long ago written by musical genius Johnny Mercer comes to mind:



My mama done tol' me, when I was in knee-pants

My mama done tol' me, "son a woman'll sweet talk"

And she'll give ya the big eye, but when the sweet talkin's done

A woman's a two face, a worrisome thing who'll leave ya to sing

the blues in the night.


Once the deed is done the narcissistic woman's meticulous plan goes into full momentum. This woman is after it all and often succeeds. A torrid affair begins. The man is sexually seduced to suit his pleasure. She pumps up his ego through her psychological and sexual fusion with him. While he is hypnotized and besotted with her, the narcissistic woman paints a compelling picture of what his new life with her could be. His current spouse is worn, weary and bitchy. She has become an unattractive burden on every level. This new woman is at her man's constant disposal. She anticipates his every need and can satisfy every ego yearning. Often the mark is exceedingly narcissistic himself so these plays work beautifully on him. Unknown to the man is the woman's plan to seal the deal with the final flesh and blood living symbol---producing their child. She easily becomes pregnant as she has long planned. The man is shocked and confused and distressed by this since he has a public image to protect and a reputation that could be severely tainted. His existing family is an afterthought

In many of these cases I have witnessed at close hand that the narcissistic woman has achieved her ultimate goal. In some instances, she destroys the marriage and family of her targeted man, obtains full support for their shared child and in some cases the narcissistic courtesan marries and creates with him the union she has been plotting day and night. Does she look back and regret the human misery and trauma she has left behind. Certainly not! She is a narcissist--no conscience, no remorse.

"I get what I want, everything I want." "If there is a problem, it belongs to someone else, not me."

To learn the essentials of all of the facets of the narcissistic personality disorder, including the destructive art of the narcissistic courtesan, visit my website:

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.

Telephone Consultation


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