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My Sister the Narcissist

Posted May 24 2010 5:55pm

This blog post is addressed to everyone who has to contend with narcissists in their families, including spouses, in-laws, parents, siblings, particularly sisters. I have received many communications from sisters who have been traumatized, manipulated, exploited and demeaned by their narcissistic sibling. Painful memories arise from their life stories of mothers who blatantly favored one daughter over the other. Some of these nightmarish memories are still present years after their victims have grown up. From the time the scapegoated daughter can recall both mother and favored daughter treated this child and young girl like a defective stupid worthless being. Some describe the behavior of the mother and other sister as inhumane. In some instances the narcissisic mother would permit her golden child daughter to physically abuse and mentally torment the other child. In many cases these behaviors can be described as sadistic. The unwanted daughter was treated like a servant who only existed to respond to the demands of the ugly narcissistic duo. This sounds medieval, like a story from centuries ago, but these are authentic biographies of psychological and emotional and physical abuse.

I hear from many daughters of narcissistic mothers and sisters who have survived this abuse after years of deep suffering. They ask me to let all who read this blog know that this level of horrific abuse does occur even to this day. Don't ever underestimate the cruelty of a narcissistic mother and her perfect clone daughter.

Daughters who prevail and reclaim their lives despite their deep traumas and deprivations work toward healing one step at a time. Many of them have benefited from solid psychotherapy. Others find spiritual pathways and other modalities of healing that help them move forward toward their becoming a solid, separate self who is no longer haunted by a bitter painful past. These daughters are to be congratulated as are all of those who have dealt with and are coping with narcissists in their families. To learn about all of the facets of the narcissistic personality, visit my website:

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.

Telephone Consultation

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