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MPD or DID or whatever it's called

Posted Dec 13 2010 3:30pm 1 Comment

Ok, I'm Sara. I'm 16 and I'm not sure but I think I have multiple personality disorder or DID or whatever it's called. I'm not sure cuz my "alter" or whatever she is doesn't act like the symptoms I've seen or read about. Like I can sometimes remember what she does, but from a view as if I watched her do it. And we talk to each other, in my head. She influences my decisions, and I do the same to her. And she's bad about pretending to be me. There is only one time that she had complete control, to where I had amnesia of what I did, but we are constantly "switching" with each other.

I mean, we do exhibit some symptoms. She calls herself Hayden, and people notice a marked difference in me when Hayden is in control and when I am. I go from nice to mean in the the drop of a hat but I don't realize what happened. Hayden also does things I normally wouldn't do, like hurting herself (meaning she's hurting me too). I have never thought about this much, but a friend of mine with confirmed MPD said she thought I should check into that, because I "act like she does." But I know none of my family or friends would believe me. They would think I was joking. But I'm freaked out. I have no clue what I'm doing sometimes and the loss of control is scary.

I even got bored and made a list of the conflicting things I do, and the thing looks like the description of the personalites of two people, instead of one.

 I'm only a teenager that's already dealt with too much crap as it is. I can't deal with this too.

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quit being a baby. i am real
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