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Manic Depressive Illness- Avoidance, Panic Attacks and Lack of Motivation

Posted Sep 29 2011 5:03pm

This has been one strange week. I have been avoiding my life, escaping into video games and TV shows, hoping that the world would just go away. I was afraid to write, I was afraid to go outside and I was afraid to live. My anxiety has been at an all-time high, causing me to think irrationally- I thought the whole world was out to get me (I do take a med for anxiety, however, it doesn’t always work), so I just quit functioning. As a result, I stopped doing the one thing that makes me happy: writing.

I guess I overwhelmed myself, I thought I was ready to start another blog and expand my writing, but in doing so I completely collapsed and gave up on everything. It’s frustrating because I’m still unstable; I thought I had made progress in my mental health, but I guess I was wrong. I want to be ambitious, I want to move forward and do something with my life, but at the moment I can’t.

End of self-pity mode

Sorry about the previous paragraphs- I  needed to expel/verbalize the frustration I’ve been holding in all week, so that I can move forward. For the time being I’m going to spend all of my energy on this blog and maybe in a few months I will start up the religion blog. I love this blog to much to let it die because of my fears, paranoia and avoidance. Hopefully I will write a bigger post in the next few days.

Post questions:

How do you get yourself out of a rut (it can be depression, anxiety, agoraphobia, paranoia, mania)?

And if you have low motivation, what can you do to jump-start your mind?

I hope you are all well,

Dave.


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