I’ll bet if you haven’t heard that by now, you’ve surely heard, “There are two sides to every story.”
Generally, that is true, but in the case of a controlling and abusive husband, I beg to differ.
Watching Dancing With the Stars one night, the thought came to me, “What would happen if Partner-A were to suddenly change course and do everything they could do to trip Partner-B up? Not that Partner-B had done anything wrong, but purely out of a psychotic condition of Partner-A?”
Continuing that thought, what if Partner-A were to stop dancing altogether, refuse counsel, refuse help, and walk away? Can two tango when one refuses?
As I thought about it I realized my husband had never really committed to the dance of our marriage. Because of a psychotic misogyny and narcissism, he took pleasure not in dancing with me but in abusively controlling and tripping me up. When I began to call him on it, he refused to dance altogether and walked away from our marriage despite all the help and counsel that was offered.
As I grieve over the loss of what should have been a good marriage-dance, I realize that in refusing to dance with me, he was also refusing to dance with God. Between God and my husband, are there two sides to that story? Or the failure of one who refuses to dance…
I’ll bet if you haven’t heard that by now, you’ve surely heard, “There are two sides to every story.”
Generally, that is true, but in the case of a controlling and abusive husband, I beg to differ.
Watching Dancing With the Stars one night, the thought came to me, “What would happen if Partner-A were to suddenly change course and do everything they could do to trip Partner-B up? Not that Partner-B had done anything wrong, but purely out of a psychotic condition of Partner-A?”
Continuing that thought, what if Partner-A were to stop dancing altogether, refuse counsel, refuse help, and walk away? Can two tango when one refuses?
As I thought about it I realized my husband had never really committed to the dance of our marriage. Because of a psychotic misogyny and narcissism, he took pleasure not in dancing with me but in abusively controlling and tripping me up. When I began to call him on it, he refused to dance altogether and walked away from our marriage despite all the help and counsel that was offered.
As I grieve over the loss of what should have been a good marriage-dance, I realize that in refusing to dance with me, he was also refusing to dance with God. Between God and my husband, are there two sides to that story? Or the failure of one who refuses to dance…
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