I love this video/song, and yet it makes me so sad.
When I was a teenager and not yet diagnosed with depression, I used to try to make the pain go away by getting very, very drunk. When I was drinking I didn't stop until I passed out. I usually didn't remember much when I woke up. The problem was that drinking didn't mask the pain inside for me, it amplified it. When I drank I was angry, so angry that it scared me. I felt like the anger would just explode out of me. I just wanted to pass out - to get to that place where I didn't feel anything.
If you are drinking to turn away from the pain in your life, I encourage you to stop! One night after getting smashed and waking up in a strange house, I had enough and tried to kill myself. I ended up in the hospital and promised myself the minute I was released I would try again until I got it right. I was determined to die.
After discovering that I had depression and slowly finding my way back, I've got to a point where I can't even touch alcohol. Just the taste of it brings back all the terrible memories I have of looking for hope at the bottom of a bottle.
This song reminds me that I don't want to go back there ever. It also makes me feel for those struggling to find their hope.
I love this video/song, and yet it makes me so sad.
When I was a teenager and not yet diagnosed with depression, I used to try to make the pain go away by getting very, very drunk. When I was drinking I didn't stop until I passed out. I usually didn't remember much when I woke up. The problem was that drinking didn't mask the pain inside for me, it amplified it. When I drank I was angry, so angry that it scared me. I felt like the anger would just explode out of me. I just wanted to pass out - to get to that place where I didn't feel anything.
If you are drinking to turn away from the pain in your life, I encourage you to stop! One night after getting smashed and waking up in a strange house, I had enough and tried to kill myself. I ended up in the hospital and promised myself the minute I was released I would try again until I got it right. I was determined to die.
After discovering that I had depression and slowly finding my way back, I've got to a point where I can't even touch alcohol. Just the taste of it brings back all the terrible memories I have of looking for hope at the bottom of a bottle.
This song reminds me that I don't want to go back there ever. It also makes me feel for those struggling to find their hope.
My Christmas wish for you is hope.