I was released from a psychiatric hospital today, on Wednesday (2/11/09), just in time for a Valentine's Day with my husband. I was treated for Severe Major Depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Anxiety Disorder. Wow, I was there for 24 days! It was worth it! I am worth it.
What do a perfectionist, care-taker, an attorney, an attorney turned Chaplin, a woman who lost her husband recently, a writer, an artist/singer/actor, an actor, a college student, a single mother, the woman who recently almost succeeded an attempted suicide, a man who self-injured and thought of suicide all the time, a construction worker, a man who by no fault of his own is homeless, a nurse, an elementary school teacher, a Desert Storm Veteran and 86 year old man, a man with constant pain due to his back have in common?
All were fellow patients. All with some type of mental illness such as depression, bipolar, schizophrenia, dissociative identity disorder, panic disorder, post-traumatic stress and more. Some with a dual diagnosis meaning alcohol or substance abuse with a mental illness diagnosis.
I am doing better and am trying to get my bearings back regarding being at home. The accomodations were a cross of dorm life and motel living. I am enjoying using my own shower, eating my own food, sleeping in my own bed and just being with my husband. I love having coffee. The coffee was horrendous and this Peet’s woman was used to having it available by 5 am and not 7:30 am. Major withdrawals!!!!
I will not miss the food, the 1/2 check around the clock, the shower, the food, the sleazy guy, the guy with no sense of boundaries, the guy who thought he was the center of the universe, the loud woman, the strange woman, the angry woman, the overhead announcements, the constant noise, constant talking or the constant cigarette smoke.
However, I do miss the staff and some of the people in which I connected. Some I will try and stay in contact. I miss being able to talk at any hour of the day or night. I also miss the "safety" of being in the hospital. I am very glad that I decided to go into the hospital as I feel better and I am ready to tackle the next level of my journey in healing...I am beginning to see the light, ever so faintly. At least that is what I hope it is and not an on coming train!!!