So many triggers. I won’t lie, I was tempted. But I didn’t give in. I’m not proud of that either. It doesn’t feel like I deserve that pat on the shoulder.
Not sure I understand This role I've been given
I had this dream, just before awaking this morning. I was climbing up this building, looking for a height to jump off from. I woke just as I was taking the plunge. Someone pulled me back.
I sit and talk to God And he just laughs at my plans
Does that mean that subconsciously I want(ed) to be saved?
My head speaks a language I don't understand
No. It probably just meant that I didn’t (don’t) believe I would die.
I just want to feel real love Feel the home that I live in
There was something else I talked about with V last week. I think she asked me if I thought it was fair for me (as a seventeen year old) to leave home and expect to turn my life around. I told her I saw it as a fresh start – the point where I could have gone out and done so much better than what I ended up doing.
'Cause I got too much life Running through my veins Going to waste
Having a disease like mine means that there are times when I may trip. It’s like having a seizure. You just can’t plan for it. It happens and you deal with it as best you can. It hits you and you pick yourself right up, check for damage or injury and you carry on.
I don't want to die But I ain't keen on living either
What do people live for anyway? What are the things that matter to you, that help you get out of bed each morning without the voices in your head telling you it’s just not worth it? You tell me about values – about caring for the people around you. Being happy. Being in love.
Before I fall in love I'm preparing to leave her
When I told you that I didn’t believe I have the capacity to love, I think you misunderstood. It’s not that I fear intimacy. Perhaps I do – a little bit. But it’s not a fear of abandonment so much as an inability to feel. How do you say that you don’t want something when you have never had that in your life? How do you know you don’t want it or you don’t like it when you have never experienced it?
I scare myself to death That's why I keep on running
Is it possible for someone to be so damaged that a part of their soul had to be amputated?
Before I've arrived I can see myself coming I just want to feel real love Feel the home that I live in
I’ve been in your home, but only as an outsider. On the outside always looking in. And somehow now the magic is gone from your eyes. What do you do when dreams break you down?
'Cause I got too much life, Running through my veins, Going to waste
Not sure I understand Not sure I understand Not sure I understand Not sure I understand
I wanna contact the living
So many triggers. I won’t lie, I was tempted. But I didn’t give in. I’m not proud of that either. It doesn’t feel like I deserve that pat on the shoulder.
Not sure I understand
This role I've been given
I had this dream, just before awaking this morning. I was climbing up this building, looking for a height to jump off from. I woke just as I was taking the plunge. Someone pulled me back.
I sit and talk to God
And he just laughs at my plans
Does that mean that subconsciously I want(ed) to be saved?
My head speaks a language
I don't understand
No. It probably just meant that I didn’t (don’t) believe I would die.
I just want to feel real love
Feel the home that I live in
There was something else I talked about with V last week. I think she asked me if I thought it was fair for me (as a seventeen year old) to leave home and expect to turn my life around. I told her I saw it as a fresh start – the point where I could have gone out and done so much better than what I ended up doing.
'Cause I got too much life
Running through my veins
Going to waste
Having a disease like mine means that there are times when I may trip. It’s like having a seizure. You just can’t plan for it. It happens and you deal with it as best you can. It hits you and you pick yourself right up, check for damage or injury and you carry on.
I don't want to die
But I ain't keen on living either
What do people live for anyway? What are the things that matter to you, that help you get out of bed each morning without the voices in your head telling you it’s just not worth it? You tell me about values – about caring for the people around you. Being happy. Being in love.
Before I fall in love
I'm preparing to leave her
When I told you that I didn’t believe I have the capacity to love, I think you misunderstood. It’s not that I fear intimacy. Perhaps I do – a little bit. But it’s not a fear of abandonment so much as an inability to feel. How do you say that you don’t want something when you have never had that in your life? How do you know you don’t want it or you don’t like it when you have never experienced it?
I scare myself to death
That's why I keep on running
Is it possible for someone to be so damaged that a part of their soul had to be amputated?
Before I've arrived
I can see myself coming
I just want to feel real love
Feel the home that I live in
I’ve been in your home, but only as an outsider. On the outside always looking in. And somehow now the magic is gone from your eyes. What do you do when dreams break you down?
'Cause I got too much life, Running through my veins, Going to waste
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand
Not sure I understand
Lyrics in italics: Feel by Robbie Williams