Some narcissists remind me of carnivorous creatures who are called
ambush predators. They ingeniously use camouflage to blend into their
environment. The stone fish lies on the ocean floor and takes on the
look of a rock. Fish swim too close by him and are bitten and inflicted
with deadly toxins.
The narcissist is filled with
psychological toxins that are dangerous to everyone, especially those
who are vulnerable to his charm, grandiose promises, fulfillment of old
dreams of being adored and taken care of. It is difficult for many of us
to acknowledge that we have been waiting to be rescued. As children
many individuals are neglected, discarded, made scapegoats, and severely
abused. It is not unusual when we look at these life histories to
understand how someone can so easily become enraptured by a narcissistic
personality and become trapped by leading his/her life not their own.
The narcissist takes you as a possession. Everything belongs to him.
He/she decides the trajectory of your life. I have seen very capable and
accomplished women drop their creativity, talents and drive to seek and
find a man who will take care of them in every way. They are willing to
eclipse their lives because of these early deep psychological needs.
time moves forward the spouse of the narcissist either deludes herself
that she is very happy to be waited on and taken care of and have
whatever she wants or she begins to recognize that she is trapped with a
very demanding, overwhelming, enraged man who views her as his
Those who wake up and realize that they
are imprisoned and that their lives are eclipsed, have strong misgivings
about their marriages to narcissists. The fairy tale has faded. It has
become tawdry, painful --" full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
(Shakespeare, Macbeth) Recognizing that this person is
controlling your life has hit you in the face. You know that you must
get out of his/her clutches.
You deserve to lead a life
that is free, creative, loving and unencumbered by the cruel delusions
of narcissists. Find the help that you need. Some individuals free
themselves in various ways: highly skilled psychotherapy, gentle yoga,
regular exercise that works for you, times of solitude, finding your own
creative pathway, meeting people whom you can trust and who are genuine
and have empathy.To learn about the narcissistic personality in-depth,
visit my website:thenarcissistinyourlife.com
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D. Telephone Consultation: firstname.lastname@example.org Book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life Email: email@example.com