esterday i found out that my diagnosis has beem changed from severe depression to bipolar. I only know because it came up in conversation. I had an appointment with my psychiatrist. The appointment was very casual. We started off talking about my move to my new house. He was very pleased that this had happened and felt that it was a good thing. We moved on to talk about my daughter. She has been having emotional problems and has been referred to CAMHs. After an initial assessment by a senior social worker she has been offered 5 CBT session if these don’t work then the social worker felt that she would then need to see one of their doctors as she thinks she is depressed. now i’m no doctor but after suffering with depression for the last 5 years i would say that that is not the case she has a few of the symptons but has not cut herself off socially her eating is good and she has no sleep problems she is just feeling overwhelmed and anxious at times. This is not surprising considering the roller coaster we have all been on for the last few years. I feel she just needs some extra support not the medication they are talking about. However, he agreed with me that i should know whether she was showing the symptons of depression, he then went on to tell me that my diagnosis of bipolar had been very difficult to come to and that as i suffered there was a chance that my daughter could get it too and that it starts to show itself in early teenage years. I’ve been trying to get my head around all of this. he confimed that i have bipolar what does that mean to me am i prepared to accept that that is what i have. When i told people that i had severe depression it was ok because you can recover from that but bipolar is a life sentence the fact is that the medication could stop working and my many symptoms could reappear worse than before. I could have passed it on to my kids, i don’t want them to go through what i have, it terrifies me. Could bipolar be what is happening to my daughter will my diagnosis mean people will look at her differently. God so many questions and no answers. My head is spinning a bit.
We got talking about medication he was quite happy that i had dropped the risperidone down to 1 1/2 mg but said that if i change my medication i am to call and let him know. He was going to change my medication but felt that now was not the time to change it with everything that is going on. When i next see him he is going to up the lamotrogine to 150mg and drop the risperidone altogether. He felt that my mood swings that i have had were due to all the stress that i had had and that so long as i was coping with them in a healthy way that they were just natural variations that would happen now and then.
All in all not a bad appointment. It was very positive. Things still aren’t 100% but will they ever be. I am thankful that they have improved to a point where i can plan for a future and at least i can see one now. The positives definately out weigh the negatives. My focus is off me and onto my kids where i feel it should be.