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Confessions Of A Borderline Girlfriend

Posted Jun 05 2010 6:32am 2 Comments

katy perry,girl

Inspired by another interesting article on BPD Family , I have decided to share some insight into why I behaved the way I did in previous romantic relationships.

It’s funny that my non-borderline partners feel like they are under attack because I feel the same way. A lot of what I have done, I did in self-defense to protect myself from some perceived threat. I’ll be the first to step up to the confessional and admit that what I did was irrational. Here are several behaviors I have displayed in romantic relationships and the reasoning behind them:

  • Broken a gift you gave me, on purpose. I did this because sometimes I get filled with a rage that is hard to control. You may have hurt my feelings, when I’m upset I get destructive. Weird as it sounds, destroying things you give me hurts my feelings too. I may have felt a strong sense of self-hatred and may have desired to inflict some emotional pain on myself too.
  • Crushed on and flirted with several other people at a time.  I have a short attention span and people intrigue me. I’m not planning to hook-up with any of them so what’s the problem? I love you, you know that.
  • Said some of the most cut throat things you’ve ever heard. I felt hurt and I was retaliating, I am used to chaos and things were just too smooth, or I am playing mind games to see if you really love me.
  • Talked about suicide even though I know if hurts you. I feel such angst and depression that sometimes it seems like the only option. It’s nothing personal, and most things you’ll try do to cheer me up simply won’t work.
  • Pulled a jekyll and hyde. I have rapid mood swings and with them come personality changes. I may not remember how I felt before the mood swing and may even contradict myself several times. I need some more therapy, there is nothing you can do about this.
  • Pushed you away then pulled you right back. I am still learning to trust you, it takes time so be patient. I am expecting to be hurt and, when I get to close, my fear of losing you causes me to unconsciously sabotage the relationship. I may also be splitting you which means you are either amazing  or you totally suck.
  • Started an argument out of nowhere. I either felt hurt by something you did (probably unintentional) or things are just going too smoothly and I need to rock the boat. Relationships can’t be this smooth, there must be something wrong. Somehow harmony seems to take the passion out of the relationship and it can get a bit boring too.

What about you? What have you done and why?

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Comments (2)
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How to break up with someone with borderline personality disorder - I'm sure survivors of a borderline personality disorder relationship can probably give you great advice on how to break up with someone who has borderline personality disorder. My advice is fairly simple and straightforward but in order for it to work you have to follow it to a T. no matter how painful it may be. Quite possibly the most dangerous relationship a man can be in is with a woman with borderline personality disorder, in my opinion borderline personality disorder can be far more dangerous in women than in men. http://www.askaden.com/2010/03/how-to-break-up-with-someone-with.html
How to break up with someone with borderline personality disorder - I'm sure survivors of a borderline personality disorder relationship can probably give you great advice on how to break up with someone who has borderline personality disorder. My advice is fairly simple and straightforward but in order for it to work you have to follow it to a T. no matter how painful it may be. Quite possibly the most dangerous relationship a man can be in is with a woman with borderline personality disorder, in my opinion borderline personality disorder can be far more dangerous in women than in men. 

http://www.askaden.com/2010/03/how-to-break-up-with-someone-with.html

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