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Avoidance of Conflict Predicts Divorce

Posted Jul 22 2008 8:23pm

Did you know that the number of predictor of divorce is the habitual avoidance of conflict?

According to new research discussed on websitewww.smartmarriage.com, successful couples are those who know how to discuss differences in ways that actually strengthen their relationship and improves intimacy. Successful couples know how to contain their disagreements. That is, they know how to keep them from spilling over and contaminating the rest of their relationship rather than avoiding conflict altogether (which can often cause resentment and complete shutdown of communication)

Fact is, every happy, successful couple has approximately ten areas of “incompatibility” or disagreement that they never will resolve. Instead, they learn how to manage the disagreements and live life around them.

What happens if we switch partners? We’ll just get ten new areas of disagreement, and sadly, the most destructive will be about the children from our previous relationships.

In addition to skills for handling disagreements, we also have to learn to welcome and embrace change. When we marry we promise to stay together till death do us part - but, we don’t promise to stay the same! We need skills to welcome, integrate and negotiate change along the way.

The good news is that the skills or behaviors - behaviors for handling disagreement and conflict, for integrating change, and for expressing love, intimacy, support and appreciation- can all be learned. Couples can unlearn the behaviors that predict divorce and replace them with behaviors that keep love alive.

One such course is offered by the Anger Coach. Conflict resolution is an important part of anger management for both individuals and couples. Details of our classes arhttp://www.angercoach.com

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