The more I provide anger management services the more I am able to see that anger is only a signal of deeper emotional challenges. Essentially some emotional need goes unmet and anger lurks in the life of the individual only waiting for some trigger to cause cause an explosion. Clients that are committed to anger management over a long time often begin to cue in to their emotional needs an may realize that they are in the wrong career, wrong city, wrong social environment, wrong marriage our even the wrong religion. They realize that their needs for security, love and belongingness, purpose and self-esteem has been starved by their decision to do what others want instead of what they want. All along the emotional signals give them a hint that something in their lives is not fulfilling but they ignore these signals. The result is a hypervigilance, and a defensive posture that is always poised to attack–often on those they love.
The alternative is to take responsibility for their own lives and take action to increase their emotional vocabulary, emotional intelligence and meet the needs that are often associated with anger. Taking this journey can often result not only in reduced anger but a more fulfilling life.
If you suffer with persistent anger it may be a sign that some emotional need has gone unmet. A competent anger management professional can assist in this regard. This process often cannot be completed in group anger management or fast track programs. It requires work over the long term.