Matt: Did I ever tell you that when we were dating, I would purposely play with our friends little brothers in front of you to show you that I would be a good dad?
Me: Wait? I remember you used to play with them. You did that on purpose?
Matt: Yeah. I'd bring them from across the room to where you could see, and then I'd play with them.
Me: I actually remember that. I remember actually having a conversation with one of my friends going all, "Aww, look how cute Matt is with those kids! He's gonna be such a good dad!"
Matt: See? It worked.
Me: Is there any part of our relationship that's not based on lies?
And to round out this hodgepodge (see: half-assed) blog post, here's a pic I found on Matt's phone that he took several months ago. Because our dogs are devious little monsters, we've got dog gates up everywhere. And since I'm one of those people who refuses to make two trips for anything, including dinner, I've become a level 24 Waitress in my own home. However, when dog gates block my path, Matt chooses to take pictures of me instead of assisting.