This year, I felt like I actually made a decision to do what I wanted to do and not go by the old rules. I feel like I made a response based on what I wanted to do taking all things into account. I felt really free from her. I was also happy. I didn't ruin my weekend. I hardly even thought about it.
These are all positive steps toward accepting myself and in turn accepting her as she is. Now, there are some guilt feelings and regrets. I am also really looking at how mentally ill she is. But, I am very satisfied with what I did. HUGE step forward...now the work gets harder, but I'm moving forward.