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Weight Gain

Posted Jul 02 2009 5:14pm

Hello Maniacs!   Let’s have a discussion about muffins!   Not the delicious cake-like substance we eat in the morning with our coffee.   When I say muffin, I am referring to the new little muffin hanging over my pants.   You know what I am talking about!   I feel like I should give her a name.   (I’ve apparently given it a gender!)   She used to live her life incognito, inconspicuous and unassuming.   She seems to know that I am going through perimenopause and wants to keep me company.   She likes to hang out like the annoying little sister that won’t go away.   “Pay attention to ME!” she is saying.   How can I not?   When I sit in my car she gently curves her way over my pants and I am well aware of her wretched existence!

Last night when I was brushing my teeth, Mr. Maniac noticed her.    Muffin is such an attention whore and thought it would be clever to appear in PAJAMAS!    Mr. Maniac put on his baby-talking voice and said “How Cuuuuute!”   I seriously considered slugging him with my toothbrush!   It’s electric and probably would have left a mark.

So here’s another goal with bioidentical therapy.   To lose weight!   I have been told that hormone therapy will strike a balance within my body.   With proper balance, maybe I can shed the pounds that have insidiously crept on.   

I want Muffin to go away and take her horrible friend Back-Fat with her!

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