I am a cancer patient for metastic breast cancer. I am 38 years old and the chemo I am taking, Taxol, has put me into premature menopause. I have spoken to my gyno and primary care docs and both say there is nothing I can take. I have not been intimate with my husband for 9 months and it's killing us. There has to be something out there.
Alas, loss of sex drive is a very disruptive, disturbing symptom of Menopause. Our Menopause Goddesses all suffered from it. I have a call in to a natural woman's health company I know well, to ascertain if their Libido Formula of supplements are contraindicated in your case. I'll let you know as soon as they call me back.
In the meantime, here is the advice that her therapist gave one of our goddesses when her marriage was suffering from her lack of desire:
"Once or twice a week, just show up naked with a smile on your face. And see what happens from there." Since this was couples counseling, both partners were to do this without worrying too much about it. It worked well - once she got into it, she enjoyed the intimacy, although she still didn't have much drive. Still, the marriage was on much better footing. After a year or two, she found that her libido DID return, although not with the ferocity of her twenties. After she told us about this, we ALL tried it until our sex drives returned from limbo or wherever they went.
Try this simple technique for now and I'll let you know re: the Libido Formula. If vaginal dryness is a problem, go to Menopausegoddessblog.org and put vaginal dryness in the Search box to bring up the corresponding blog entry.
Good luck - I know how painful this can be. Be gentle with yourself and each other.
I checked with my contact at emerita.com - they have a libido formula that contains red clover, ginkgo and other herbal supplements. While she knows of no contraindications to taking it in your situation, you must check with your MD re: potential drug interactions. Herbs are drugs too - in fact the first drugs were herbs!
In the meantime, try the "Show up naked with a smile" idea. If it does not work, and you are not able to take the herbs due to possible interactions with current chemo regimen, etc. consider a couples counselor to help you and your spouse re-establish sexual intimacy.
Good luck - I know it is difficult (read crazy-making) when desire just up and disappears. We Venuses and our spouses can attest to that. As one of the Menopause Goddesses explained to her husband - "It's like I'm a little girl again hormonally - I can't remember what lust feels like. Still, once you remind me and we are physically close, I do enjoy sex."
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