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Two Men Debate Midlife Relationships

Posted Dec 10 2008 12:17am

Okay. Maybe not debate, but here are two Baby Boomer men with different and distinct points of view. And since I get to be the moderator, I'm calling this a debate in the hopes that my lurking readers will join in ;-)

The "How To Survive Male Menopause" post has received the most traffic and click-thrus of any post I've written in three years.

Yet MidAgedMan comments, "I think that this is a somewhat ridiculous concept. "Crisis" is often too strong a word - what we, like any human being, need is a partner who can accept change and grow with us."

I agree, but for many, that information resonated. I'm one of the fortunate who can call her husband "my best friend." And crises being part of life, I like to think that not only are we surviving midlife, we're thriving and overcoming the odds of mid-life meltdown.

Then we have Man Up Men, who's launched a companion blog to promote his 143-page book, Have a Great Midlife Crisis. Based on my cursory review of his posts, it's pretty clear he's grasped that controversy sells. Well, maybe not sells, but certainly stirs things up.

He's also wrangling with this whole Social Media thing. (Hint: Throwing up a blog that is so obviously self-serving will not win you fans nor buyers.) You'll notice no link love here.

If he'd left off the subtitle, "Without Getting Caught," I might have been able to recommend the book. If you're really advocating "to man up," why not be a man and exit gracefully without the collateral damage?

Man-o-pause strives to bridge the gaps between men and women, not divide and conquer. Part of having a great midlife is having gained perspective on the "gender wars" and coming through intact and improved.

This Neanderthal approach to men vs. women will insult enlightened men everywhere. Why would anyone spend $19.95 for a 143-page rant, when you can come to Man-o-pause and read over 180 posts for free?

As MidAgeMan so succinctly states it: Crisis is often too strong a word.

I prefer opportunity. But then again, we all have our take on the mid-life crisis cure.

If you're looking for great books to help you meet the midlife transition with dignity and humor, look no further than the right column for books I recommend through Amazon.

Two books I recommend wholeheartedly are Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants, by Eliot Katz and Real Men Don't Apologize, by Jim Belushi.

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